Wilson: would you buy lottery when you grow up Mattuew: no theres no point Wilson: ask Xiangxi right next to you Mattuew: xiangxi, would you buy lottery if you grow up? Xiangxi: Prabably not, because the chance of winning a lottery is lower than becoming an astronaut Mattuew: the probability of you winning the lottery is higher than you finding a girlfriend

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Ask me if I'm a tree? Are you a tree? No.

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We are as to jokes as atheists are to religion.

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A child walks into a bar. He finds to find his dad passed out in his vomit, the bartender realizes the dad left the kid in the car, and he is arrested. The kid grows up traumatized by the experience, and becomes a substance abuser just like his dad.

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Yo mama's so fat she needed a toilet that had a bigger seat (just like me)

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Q: What did the donkey say to the man? A: "Hello there, sir." it was later discovered the man was tripping on the hallucinogen LSD. Later on the man plummeted to his death after being convinced that he was a pterodactyl, and jumping off of a cliff.

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Knock knock... Home invasion

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot you racist.

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You've got more chins than a Chinese... Girl with a lot of chins, because she's so fat

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a blonde takes 1 hour to swim 100m of breaststroke.

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To mama's so fat when she went to Dairy Queen she Ordered a blizzard.

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Q: How do you make a five year cry twice? A: There are many ways, as children are generally not that adept at controlling their emotions. Loud noises, threats of violence, images of scary monsters... those tend to work. Be sure to let them stop crying before making them cry again, otherwise you will have only made them cry once.

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what is the worst thing a bout four black men driving a Cadillac off a cliff? they were my friends

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What is black, white, and red all over? A zebra that was shot by poachers.

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What do you call a man who only eats fast food? Unhealthy.

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YO MAMMA SO SKINNY SHE HULA-HOOP THIER A CHEERIO

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Roses are Red Your Face Has Turned Blue This Pillow I have Is Smothering You

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Whats worse than getting in an arrow in the side of your neck Finding out there is a gas bill tied to it

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Why did Susie fell off the swings? Because she didn't have any arms or legs.

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A little boy had a candle by his bedside. It fell over. The candle was fake, and it didn't burn down his house. When he woke up, he picked up the candle, put it back on his nightstand and had a wonderful day.

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Why did the blonde's parents take away her car? She didn't pay for half the insurance like she said she would.

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whats red and bad for your teeth? a brick.

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Roses are red My balls are blue Get off Unless You want too

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Your momma is so fat that she decided to begin an exercise program and eat healthy and she lost weight.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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