A man in an airport asked me if i wanted my bag to be carry-on. So i said yes.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A man walks into a clothing store, he calls his wife, buys a shirt, and leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being ripped apart by an angry orangatang because orangatangs have the strength of ten men.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

How many calories are in a bag of Fritos? 160 calories.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why doesnt snow like Asians? Snow is a form of precipitation within the Earth's atmosphere in the form of crystalline water ice, consisting of a multitude of snowflakes that fall from clouds. Since snow is composed of small ice particles, it is a granular material. It has an open and therefore soft structure, unless packed by external pressure. Snowflakes come in a variety of sizes and shapes. Types which fall in the form of a ball due to melting and refreezing, rather than a flake, are known as graupel, ice pellets or snow grains. Therefore since snow is unhuman they are then thus incapable of emotions because they lack any vitals organs.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Two women get in the shower at the same time, because they both start work at 8:00am and have commutes of similar length.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? It depends on a variety of factors such as the size of your mouth, the amount of saliva, etc.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

John's life hasn't been the same since committing suicide 13 years ago.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Jack and Jill went up the hill, to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown, and Jill came tumbling after. Up Jack got, and home did trot, as fast as he could caper, to old Dame Dob, who proceeded to get Jill convicted of attempted murder, as well as several millions of dollars for pain and suffering.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Two Chavs jump off a clift who wins? Neither the sport of Tomb stoning is considered non competitive much like jogging

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What's funnier than an anti-joke? Sarcasm.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What is the difference between a black baby and a tractor? A tractor is heavy and a baby is not

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Can apples get viruses? No, they are a fruit, and fruit cannot get viruses.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What would a man say if you urinated all over his legs? WHAT THE DEUCE?

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why couldn't Johnny drive? Because he had no arms or legs. Why didn't he have any arms or legs? Because Johnny was a potato.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

what's white, got three legs and you wouldn't expect to find in the rainforest? A fridge on a stool

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What's in a glass and drinky? A drink

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Q:the is a mexican and a black guy in the car who id driving? A:the cop

thumb_up thumb_down -16

there once was a man, he was old, and he had one wish...do you wanna know that wish? Well i don't know it because he died two seconds ago from a heart attack. Oh Well...

thumb_up thumb_down -16

roses are blue violets are red heres a gun now your dead

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Grace Ackerson

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What's the sound of one hand clapping? The same as two hands; just not as loud.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being raped by a Triceratops.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops