What's worse than breaking your neck on a trampoline? Getting in a car crash on the way to the hospital.

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Two penguins, sitting in a bath tub. One says, "Pass the soap!" The other says, "What do you think I am?! A clock?"

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What do you get when you cross a cat and a dog? an email from PETA

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So a magician was droving down the road and then he turned into a driveway!

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How do you get Helen Keller to keep a secret? You politely ask her not to tell anyone.

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Why does the man have mayonaise in his pants? A: I don't know, I was hoping you could tell me.

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Why did the prostitute begin to cry when she saw the chinese patron's penis? His testicles are diced onions.

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whats black and has 3 legs? a spider with 5 missing legs.duh.

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why was the jewish man so sad because his family was killed in a bus accident and he severed his spine and cant walk ever again and his insurance couldunt pay for the bill so he is now bankrupt so he borrowed from the mafia and now owes them 100,000 in a year or they will cut off his fingers and gauge out his eyes

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hi joshua

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roses are red violets are blue my dick is long longer then you

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George Lopez never said anything funny in his life.

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Why did the chicken fall down? Because it wanted to have fun

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What's in a bag of dead babies? Dead babies and one alive baby eating it's way out.

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what did one dog say to his sex partner? woof woof

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why was the little boy sad? because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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There once was an old man. He had worked hard his whole life to make sure his children got everything they needed, and that they were always happy. He had a beautiul life and a great big house with a marvelous view of the ocean. In time his kids moved away, and his wife died. The old man was left all by himself in the great big house, and sometimes the emptiness of the house reminded him of the emptiness of his own heart. He very seldom cried though, and kept all of his emotions inside. One day it all became to much for him and he took his own life in the silence of his great big empty house. I was that ocean.

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What did Batman say to Robin before getting in the car? Get in the car.

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How do you kill a lawyer? Stab him 50 times in the chest, slit him open and take all of his organs out one by one. Burn what you have left. That should do the trick. OMG I AM EVIL

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Penis-biter

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If you give a mouse a cookie, he will probably eat it then have a heart attack due to the high level of sugar in the cookie

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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How do you fit four gay on a bar stool? Divide the given space into fourths and convince them to share it accordingly. However, due to the fact that bar stools are significantly smaller than the average chair, and the likelihood that the bar has the resources to provide chairs for all of their customers, it would be highly unlikely that the men would choose be remain seated in such an inconvenient manner.

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Why did the jew go to the doctors? Because he had a severe headache.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops