Why did the koala fall out of the tree? -Because it was dead Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? -Because it was stapled to the first koala

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okay so theres this guy.

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How do you kill a blue elephant? With a blue elephant gun. How do you kill a red elephant? Spray paint it blue then shoot it with a blue elephant gun

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A cow went into a meadow and ate some grass. Some time later he wandered off.

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How do you get Helen Keller to keep a secret? You politely ask her not to tell anyone.

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What do you call an asian plumber? A plumber.

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Two muffins are in an oven. They don't speak to each other because muffins do not have the ability to make speech. After being in the oven for several minutes at 375 degrees, they are removed, left to cool, and were eaten. They were good.

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What did the worm a fisherman used to catch fish called when the worm killed a trout? Master Bate.

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Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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What's blue and thrashes about on the floor? A baby playing in a plastic bag. How do you make a man pregnant? Stick a dead baby up his ass! How do you stop a baby falling down a manhole? Stick a javelin through it's head. How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how hard you throw them. -S

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Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You smell like ass, And no one loves you!

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How do you remind your kids of family? You brand them with the family crest.

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What's the difference between ice cream and babies? I don't stick babies in my freezer...

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children are much like potatoes. when you eat them, they die.

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I never drink liquor alone... except for when I'm alone.

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Q. What do you do when you cross an elephant, and a soccer ball. A. That would never happen.

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Why was the Jew so happy? He had a good day

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Why do men not get cullulite? Because it's ugly.

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why do black people like watermellon? becasue it is a delicious red fruit at a wonderful price

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Why was the little boy sad Because he has depression from his father beating him over and over every time he comes home from school...

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Why couldn't the blonde get pregnant? Because she was dead, and her reproductive organs had stopped functioning.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Sugar is sweet And I hate Jewish people

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why did the chicken cross the road? IDGAC

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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