How do you confuse a blonde? Go up to her and say, "The bookbag coffeepotted the ice cream wedding! Is it gosling for you to rectify this pane of glass and oceans? I won't be able to berry a giant squid before the cows arrive."

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Why did the student go to university? To pursue a higher education.

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Want to hear a joke? No.

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What did the boy without arms get in his Christmas present? A pair of gloves. Just kidding, he didn't open it yet.

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Twelve people are in a plane. One of them says: "Man, we really are not so many in this plane" Another one replies: "It's because it's a 12 seats plane." Another says: "Do 12 seats planes even exist?" Another one answers: "Of course they do." Another person says: "Guys, are we even flying?" Someone says: "I don't know" Another says: "Yes, we're flying, look out the window." Another says: "I have cancer." Someone reacts: "Oh, I'm really sorry for you" Another: "Yes, me too" Someone adds: "It's really terrible" Another says: "Has science made any progress recently?" The plane crashes.

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To the 'am i pregnant now?'-section: Yesterday I spilled mustard on my brand new pants. That was just before I went out to some clubs. That night, after I had enjoyed myself with friends and alcohol, while I was walking home I was raped several times by big, black and hung men. It hurt a lot and my anus is still bleeding. My question is: What is the best way to get rid of the mustard stain?

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Q: Why did the girl fell from the swing? A: Because she had no arms.

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ADAM FANTUZZI SUCKS KIRANS BALL SACK

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Geography Teacher: What caused the earthquake of Japan? Me: Godzilla constipated too hard, and it caused an earthquake. Tsunami was the result of his poo. Geography Teacher: then how do you explain the after shocks...? Me: Godzilla shat his pants after the toilet

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chuck norris was bit by a snake, a few hours later he died

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One dog says to the other "I love going for walks!" A women over-hears, screams "A Talking Dog!", and calls the police. The dog is put down and dissected for scientific research.

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A muslim walks onto a plane. He goes to 13C as that is his seat designated on his ticket.

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Why is Joel even here? Sexperience.

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How do you piss off a redneck? You wait until he is done fucking his sister and then you steal his truck.

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How to you kill a pizza guy? Shoot him in the face.

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Ask me if I'm a horse. Are you a horse? No.

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Q: What's a crutch's favorite song? A: Lean on me

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Q: What's red and bad for your teeth? A: Bricks.

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So this squirrel is walking across the road when a HUGE truck comes and smashes him beneath the tire.

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How do you blindfold an Asian person? With a blindfold

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How do you fit an elephant inside your car? I don't understand why this task would even need to be performed. I have never arrived anywhere in my car and thought "Sure could use an elephant right about now..."

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How do you kill a dwarf? You put rope around his neck and attach the other end to a concrete slab. Proceed to then through him in the ocean.

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Why does Chuck Norris own a can named Chuck Norris? because he is self-centered due to all the attention payed to him for virtually no reason at all.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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