An englishman, an irishman amd a scotsman were walking down the street. What a fine example of unionism

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So Nero, what the fuck are you doing? XD

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y was man afaid of fire?, cuz its hot

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Robin, get in the car!

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what did one wall say to the other wall Nothing because its physically impossible for walls to talk

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Skinny people fart less.

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matt is fat

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Why did Suzie die? She ate too many fried twinkies.

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What's Worse Than World War I 2 World War I's

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What's small, furry and looks like a mouse? Most probably a mouse but given the large number of mammals with similar appearances to a mouse it could easily be a shrew, vole or even a rat if you don't know your rodents very well.

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What did one penguin say to the other Nothing, penguins don't talk.

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Know what's funny? Jokes.

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I have a dig bick You that read wrong You read that wrong too You read that again to make sure I'm not fucking with you

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Why did the sloth cross the road? To slaughter your entire family.

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So, two men walk into a bar. But the midget walks under it.

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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Q. What do you call a Widow's Husband? A. Dead...

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A horse walks into a convenience store. He grabs a pack of gum, pays the man at the counter, and walks out.

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What's the difference between car keys and truck keys? Literally nothing.

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Roses are red bullets are led if you don't take me back now i'll shoot you in the head!

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what does a baby with no lims get for christmas...cancer

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A man is pulled over for drunk driving, and is asked to say the alphabet backwards. When requested to do so, the man says, "officer, I can't even do that when I'm sober," thus admitting that he is drunk. The police officer chuckles at the drunk man's stupidity, and wonders whether or not his wife would find the incident funny. After all, they do share a similar sense of humor.

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what do you call a half dead black person crawling across your lawn..............................stop laughing and reload

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Hey, is that your corvette? No, I thought is was yours.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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