Why did the welshman cross the road? To violently hump sheep.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the woman leave the kitchen? She didn't, she's a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A horse walks into a bar. The barman says 'Why the long face?' The horse replies 'I've got AIDS.'

thumb_up thumb_down -19

-What's funnier than a dog with no legs? -The movie Dumb and Dumber, in my opinion.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What happens when you throw a yellow rock into a purple river? it makes a splash

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Can you help jack Off. The elephant?

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Roses are red. Violets are blue. You honstly thought i would cry over you? Well guess what player, You just got played too!

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Knock, Knock Who's there? Interrupting cow Interrupting c- Moo

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A giraffe walks into a bar and the bar tender asks "Why the long face?!" to witch he replied " I've just been mugged outside.".

thumb_up thumb_down -19

why did I fall off a tree? cause i wanna to

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A deaf man sits down puts on his headphones presses play on his ipod starts to nod his head and realises what he has just done

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Q:what does jgjdhter hjldhgukrh mean A: it means something it is a real word

thumb_up thumb_down -19

I going to the kitchen to make a #sandwich.....oh wait this isn't twitter

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A baby seal walks into a club. He immediately escorted out because babies are not allowed in clubs.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A homeless guy on the brink of starvation found one dollar lying on the street. He took it and bought a lottery ticket at the local drugstore. God was looking down on him with pity that day and decided that day that he would no longer be a vagabond. The next day, the homeless man won the lottery jackpot, worth 100 million dollars. He declared that on that day, he was the luckiest and happiest man alive. He then woke up in a pile trash.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why could susan not get up? Because her limbs were hacked off by a African militia group.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Dennis: you can make anything out of coppersulfate Austin: But copper sulfate can make things out of you

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why are Asians good at Math? Because they are bad at English.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What does a dishwasher and the holocaust have in common? Not much.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

"This is defamation!" proclaimed the Fox, as he sat in the panels of the courtroom. "I attest, with full honesty, Your Honor, that never have I said any of the allegations the two defendants have quoted upon me." He looked with contempt at the Ylvis brothers, who sat at the other end of the room. "I say, Your Honor," he continued, "that I never, ever in my entire life, said 'Gering-ding-ding-dingerdingerding', to which I am willing to testify."

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What's long and black? A line at KFC.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

How many Jews does it take to change a lightbulb? Depends on how big the lightbulb is

thumb_up thumb_down -19

okay so this guy walks into the bar and says DON BE STUPE SHE SPIT GOOD AND EVERYTHIN. why did he say that. BECAUSE EVERYBODY HATES HIS SPIT

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops