There were three soap salesmen in a bar. They were comparing how good they were at selling their wares. "I'm so good that I sell 60% of my soap bars each day," says the first salesman, bragging. The second one wasn't to be outdone. "I'm so good that I sell 80% of my soap bars," he declared. The last salesmen, who, up to the moment had been relatively quiet, suddenly said in a calm and collected manner, "Oh that's nothing. I'm so good that I sell all of my soap bars each day."

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Yo mama so fat, she was diagnosed with Type 2 Diabetes and has been instructed by her physician to exercise and regularly monitor her blood glucose levels.

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Jesse is so fat, his weight on his scale says " hahaha gotta love childhood obesity"

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Your family is so fat that when their feet hit the ground, it recorded 9 on the richter scale, because they were launched at the Earth at close to the speed of light, and when you account for relativistic mass effects, the amount of energy that was displaced into the ground was tremendous

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Q: whats big gray and cant swim A: a castle

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Who is married to Uncle Joke? Antijoke.

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This girl came up to me and said she recognized me from the vegetarian club. Her name was Jill.

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A- 2 jews walk in a bar..what happed? B- they died 35 years later from skin cancer

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What's the difference between a piece of chicken and a black guy? One is delicious and the other isn't good for your health.

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You mean I have to type in this little box? That's so embarrassing!

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How do you kill a blonde? There are a variety of methods, but I prefer a fine mix of insecure clowns and pepto-bismol.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Suzie.

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What's faster than a black man running with a VCR? His son with the receipt of purchase as they realize VCR's are clearly outdated and must be returned right away.

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Women's professional sports

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what is red, yellow, green, blue, purple, and violet? Blood i lied about the other colors...

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Why is the horny toad named that way? Because its a misnomer of the horned lizard.

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What did the Woman say to the man after he walked into the pole? That was a pole you idiot

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What did the boy say to the elders at the senior center? Dayum, you're all ugly!

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How does Justin Bieber remove a condom? he farts

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knowone loved me why???????????????????????? because they were so damm ugly

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Awe the sky is crying.... No it's peeing

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What's read,bubbly and looks out the window? A baby in a microwave

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why didn't the unicorn have a horn? It was a horse. Why didn't the horse have a horn? it was not a unicorn.

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What did the scarf say to the hat? Nothing, a scarf can't talk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops