Did you hear the one about the pizza and the salamander? Neither did I.

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Why did the white man buy a new pair of socks? His old ones has holes.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was shot In the face. Why did the cow fall out of the tree it was stapled to the monkey.

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What's the first thing that goes through a persons mind when they get shot in the head. The bullet.

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How do you get the pesky neighborhood kids off your front lawn? Molest them.

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don't take life to seriously nobody gets out alive

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Whats red and goes round and round? A baby in the garbage disposal

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What did Little Johny get for Christmas?

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whats worse than death getting your nuts ripped of by a rabid racoon

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A couple picks up a hitch-hiker with an ax on the side of the road. The hitch-hiker says "Thank you for the ride."

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So a guy walks into the doctors and say "Doctor it hurts when i poke my knee like this" the doctor says "Let me see your hand" the doctor squeezes the patients finger and the patient says "ow!" the doctor says "now poke you knee again" the patient pokes his knee and says "it still hurts" so the doctor comes to a conclusion and says " you dont have a broken kneecap you have a broken finger, stupid, now get out and leave me alone!"

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What does a homeless man get for Valentines Day? Divorce papers

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Q: Where does Cher sit? A: I have no idea.

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Why did the friendly not play outside? Because they were dead. Just like your dreams.

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Yo Mama's so fat when she fell out of the tree she hit the ground very, very hard.

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a man walks into a bar... he was shot to death because he was a slave during the 1910s

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Why is Short Circuit the best movie ever made? Because it tastes like lemons

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when u cant say fuck say firetruck because it starts with f and it ends with uck ?firetruck?

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A: Can I get a tall white Russian. B: No. A: Why not? B: Because this is a Barnes and Nobles. However, we do have a Starbucks, and I can offer you a venti caramel iced coffee"

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A black man walks into a store. As he leaves, the detector goes off. It turns out the sales clerk had forgotten to take out one of the tags on his purchase. The sales clerk promptly took it off, and the man left to enjoy the rest of his day.

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Your mom is so fat shes having trouble getting into her own pants.

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8 muslims walk into a bar You know why. Because their suicidal bombing plans were put off until Tuesday

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Q: What happens when you sit in the middle of the road? A: You get hit by a car and die a horrible death as your family members mourn in the loss and remain sad forever.

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why did suzie fall off the swing? because shes autistic and her mother likes to abuse her.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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