Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue I Have Somthing To tell you F*** You

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What's read,bubbly and looks out the window? A baby in a microwave

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How do you confuse and anger a blonde? Kill her family and loved ones and say you did it because potato.

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Knock knock! Who's there? A Doorbell salesman.

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1)Did you hear about the sick juggler? 2)No... 1) He just couldn't stop throwing up!!!! 2)Oh no!! Is he ok?? 1)He's dead. 2)HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA c&h

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This boy. We shall call him George. George was skating down the street when he passed the market. George stopped and looked in when he saw this SWEET pair of shoes! They were priced for 20 bucks. So George rushed home and went to his dad who was mowing the lawn. "DAD DAD!" "what?" The dad said. "I FOUND THESE SWEET PAIR OF SHOES! Can you lend me 20 bucks?" His dad shook his head and George ran inside the house and went up to his mom who was washing the dishes. "Mom can you lend me 20 bucks for these sweet shoes?" His mom just looked at him funny and said, "No". Angry, George set off upstairs to his sister's room who was on the computer. "Sis can you lend me...." "GET OUT OF MY ROOM!!" She slammed the door in his face. George sighed and went to his room. But before he got to his door, he saw a 20 dollar bill on the floor. He picked it up and rushed to the store. Once he got the shoes he ran back home to his dad. "Dad DAD! Look at these.." He stopped and saw his dad that was under the lawnmower dead. George shrugged and went inside to his mom. "Mom mom! Look at these...." He stopped and saw that his mom was stuffed in the dishwasher, dead. George sighed and ran upstairs to show his sis. "Hey sis look at...." She was found with her head in the computer screen, dead. So George sighed and walked down to the living room. He plumped on the couch and wondered about how his family died. Then there was a knock on the door. George hesitated. It knocked again. He got up and went to the door. Opened it and out stood a penguin. He stared at the penguin. "What do you want?!" The penguin stared back. What did he say?????? Nothing penguins can't talk.

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Yo mama so fat, she was diagnosed with Type 2 Diabetes and has been instructed by her physician to exercise and regularly monitor her blood glucose levels.

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My favorite color is Ham. And I can count to Potato.

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Why does a woman with a little dark skin and black hair a Native American? Because she smells.

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If I had a nickel for every time I heard that... I'd most likely have no money as I would spend it all on cocaine.

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What's worse than dying of boredom? ...Being stabbed.

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How many dead babies can you fit in the trunk of a car? Any number if compressed sufficiently. At neutron star density all babies in the world would fit.

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What did the legless veteran get for christmas, The same grenade that blew up his legs.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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whats the difference between harry potter and a jew? harry potter can escape the chamber

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Where did the girl go after the explosion? Everywhere

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Ok so 3 guys walk into a bar... the fourth one ran.

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I like my coffe like my women Without a Penis

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Knock knock Who's there? To To be continued.

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What do you get when you cross a Chinese man with a dog? A happy Chinese man and a pile of dog bones.

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what did the dog say to the mailman? woof.

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The awkward moment when Delilah got hit by a bus.

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Why did the girl fall off the swings? -because she had no arms

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You walk into a shopping centre, what wont you see? Madelin McCann.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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