A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men jump out, and the plane crashes anyway.

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On christmas, a bunch of happy kids get machine guns for christmas.Meanwhile in afghanistan, a bunch of dissapointed kids are getting ice skates.

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Today if my birthday, and I got given the Anti Joke Book! Happiness!

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Your mother is so ugly that her physical appearance causes her to have a low self-esteem.

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Why did the girl call suicide hotline? Cuz he wanted to kill herself.

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How do you kill a blue elephant? Shoot it with a blue elephant gun. How do you kill a pink elephant? Hold it's nose until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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What starts with P and ends with ORN? Popcorn! What starts with F and ends with UCK? Firetruck! What starts with S and ends with EX? Spandex!

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Knock knock. Who's there? FedEx. FedEx who? Just kidding, it's hookers.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting your balls chewed off by a rottweiler.

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What do you get we you mix a ginger with gasoline? A forest fire.

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a man walked into a bar. the bartender asked why he was annoyed. he answered " people keep on telling this joke and I'm tired of the making me get drunk

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What did the POW say to his captor? I do not want to be waterboarded.

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What did Stephen Hawking say after he scaled Mount Everest? Yay!

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laughter is the best medicine, unless you have cancer, then you will die.

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Why did helen kellers dog committ suicide? You would to if you had massive clinical depression.

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An Irishman, a German, a Jew, and a Mexican walk into a bar...... the Irishman is named designated driver and all four have a safe and enjoyable evening.

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What did the black guy say when he failed his math test? Crap, I failed my math test!

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A man asks his doctor if you can die from drinking to much water. The doctor replies 'Yes you can'

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BIM slowly fucks old women in the dark so they think its rape then he slips his hand up there ass and rips out there heart

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Brother Bro-ther Broad her Soap

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I got 99 problems, and most of them involve my terminal illness.

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Why didn't jimmy get to eat his ice cream? Because he got hit by a bus

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Women's Rights Movement

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A farmer accidentally trips his wife. She falls down the stairs and the farmer is quickly arrested for murder.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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