What did the piano say to the guitar? "G, it's not A nice day. B careful, Dee." What did the guitar say to the piano? "F you!" What did the piano reply? "Eek! C you later!"

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What's better than your first Hanukkah? Not being a Jew.

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Two turtles are in a bathtub. One turtle says to the other turtle "Hey, can you pass the soap". The other turtle says "what do you think I am, a toaster?"

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I'm on the Seafood Diet. I eat seafood to replace fatty red meats, in conjunction with fruit and vegetables.

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What time is it in Florida? Time To Eat The President Of The United States!

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Knock Knock whose there brian Brian who oh because im chinese you assume my second name is Hu? terribly sorry theres been a misunderstanding, i was asking you surname, i should have been more specific! No it my fault, i dont know why i overreacted my second name is Hu its ok, what can i do for you? is it allright to come in for some noodles? are you paying? only a reasonable price ok then, dont see why not

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What's the best thing about having sex with twenty one year olds? There's twenty of them.

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Okay I have knock knock joke but u have to start it. Okay Knock knock Who's there (akward silence)

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What did Little Timmy say when his house fell down? I'm not sure but that sounds like a very sad seen that I hope to never encounter in my personal experiences.

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What is worse then dying of testicular cancer? Living of testicular cancer and having one amputated?

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Im thinking of a very long word..... L O N G

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A child walked into the bar. He was promptly asked to leave because he was too young.

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Roses are red, violets are blue. You're dog is dead. And so is your family.

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What did the Chinese man say to the Japanese man Nothing as they have never met

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Why'd the asian man cross the road? I dont know, who cares? Just leave the guy alone

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Why did the short man fall down the stairs? He got shot in the face with an assault rifle.

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-Knock Knock ~Who's there? -It's your mother ~Go away

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What is worse than an 11 year old getting raped You getting caught

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Why am I sad right now? Because I just Sh*t my pants.

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A small black boy was walking down the street. He ran into a police officer and the police officer shot him, why? A: Because the officer was racist.

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A black guy goes to the bar. The Barman say: What would you like to drink?

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Your mama's p*ssy is so stank, she should probably consult her physician as she may have an easily treatable infection.

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What red and goes up and down? A tomato in an elevator.

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Why was Six afraid of Seven? Seven was in a horrible car accident recently and became very disfigured. He didn't tell Six, so the initial shock of seeing him for the first time was quite jarring for Six. Seven has had multiple surgeries since and, once the swelling recedes, he should look much better. It will still hurt for him to chew though.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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