Roses are red. Violets are blue. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT IS.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

How did the man lose his arm? beacuse of the five year old with a knife obsesion standing right beind you at this minute...

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What do you call putting a toad in the microwave? Animal cruelty.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

How can you tell if your wife is dead? She won't have a pulse.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What would you call the baby of an elephant and a rhinoceros? Nothing. They are two entirely different species and therefore cannot breed.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What do you get when you cross a horse with a house cat ? A law suit for animal cruelty

thumb_up thumb_down +9

why couldnt the man run because he had no legs

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Barack Obama

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the baby cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Q - What's the difference between a sack of dead babies and a trampoline? A - I take my shoes off when I jump on a trampoline.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

what do you call a cat that cant meow? Charlie Sheen.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

why did the car go to the bathroom? it had gas.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the girl fall out of the swing? She didnt have any arms

thumb_up thumb_down +9

what has hair and can fly? a human.. i lied about the flying.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why can't Scrillex fish? Because He is too busy to practice fishing.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Roses are red, My name is Dave, This joke is pointless, microwave.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Just aids, and gonnoreah, and... Jk, I wont type it here, and I am not "suffering" from nothing, its a condition, it can be a struggle, and yeah it could turn fatal, on the bright side its not contagious (its genetics, flawed genetics) but on the bright side, so far chances are greater of me dying from a giant meteor falling on me as I sleep, than from this... Not disease, genetic flaw, take it from a guy that was born without toenails, has two eardrums and some weird tiny holes on his ears (I can send you a pic of those tiny weird holes, they are not weird, kinda cute I been told and can say so myself) so you calm yet?

thumb_up thumb_down +7

theres a taco and a blonde...who eats who? the blonde eats the taco.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

YOU-why did the airplane crash? (person): why? YOU-Because jimmy was flying it. (person): Who is jimmy? YOU- a fish.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Son: i like gaming Mom: you are wasting your life *son jumps in trash can

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's the difference between a black man and a park bench? A park bench can support a family

thumb_up thumb_down +7

why did the zombie eat bob because bob was delicious

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Pineapple.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why was the snowman afraid of the sun? Because he would melt that day and die

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops