Whats the difference between a pizza and your mom? Your mom's a bitch.

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Why was little David sad? His father got hit by a truck.

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You're American when you enter the the bathroom and you're American when you exit the bathroom. What are you while you're inside the bathroom? Using the bathroom.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Monkey see monkey do. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the second monkey.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the chipmunk fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the monkey.

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THIS ONE IS MIIINE THIS ONE IS MIIINE I AM TOTALLY TIFA I AM TOTALLY TIFA! This one apparently.

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Why is the boy lying down on the floor? The chandelier fell on him.

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What happens when an old lady bumps into a black man in the middle of the night? He politely offers her help getting home and she accepts.

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Why did the drunk walk into the bar? Because he has a serious drinking problem.

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead why did the dog fall out of the tree? because it was attached to the monkey

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Why didnt Stevie Wonder wave back at the white man? Because he's a racist.

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"I see," said the deaf man, to the blind man, who had no ears.

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How many Jews can you fit in a Volkswagon? 2 in the front seat, 3 in the back.... and that's it because the holocaust never happened.

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Three men walk into a bar and suffer permanent brain damage

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What kind of cheese isn't yours? Someone else's.

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how many people does it take to take over the world aperently just 1 me

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Knock knock Who's there? Fuk Fuk who?

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A buddhist,islamist and a prohibitionist walk into a bar.

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What do you call a black Englishmen? Rodger

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what do you get when you cross an ant with toni? ANTONI

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You wanna hear a clean joke? Mary takes a bath with bubbles. Wanna hear a dirty joke? Bubbles is a man.

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Beware of orange frogs with black stripes! They are dangerous! On the other hand, if you see a black frog with orange stripes, you're in no danger.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, sorry i gave you Herpes type 2.

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An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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