What do you can an astronaut with an apple? Never mind, I have a boner.

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Wal-mart didn't have the product I wanted. So I yelled at the manager until they had it. It didn't work and i was taken to jail.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn't matter, he won't come.

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Two drums and a sybol fall off the edge of a cliff. They hit a random pedestrian at the bottom killing him instantly. da-dum ch

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Your momma's so stupid that she might not have graduated from high school, ceasing her ability to have an educated job. Now, she makes minimum wage and can barely feed her son.

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Q: What did the dog say the cat? A: nothing, because dogs cannot speak, and even if they could, I highly doubt they would speak cat.

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Why did the man pull out his chainsaw? To get rid of a tree in his front yard.

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Why did the boy give the girl flowers? Because her parents died in a car crash and he felt bad.

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A blonde, redhead, and a brunette are chatting outside a casino. The brunette directs a joke towards the blonde. "What's the difference between cotton candy and pork chops?" The blonde has heard the joke prior to this encounter and correctly completes it with sign language because she is deaf.

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What did the man say when he saw a tornado coming his way? "Oh my god, that's a tornado. I better get out of its way so I don't get injured.

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Obama

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How do you make your mom mad? Burn down the house and eat the dog.

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Where does a one-legged waitress work? Wherever she can get good health insurance.

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What’s spotty, has three legs and is green all over? …well?

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Whats funnier than a baby in a jar? A baby in ten jars.

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My wife made me a sandwich

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What was little Sarah's last Words to johnny before he got hit by the bus??? Can i have your ice cream.

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Why did the audience leave disappointed? Low budget and poor directing.

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to KFC for his job interview

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Why did the plane crash? Because, it's pilot was a bagel.

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Why did the old man fall down the stairs? Because he wanted to impress his wife.

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roses are red violets are blue corey mills is and got raped by you

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Why did the Chicken become a medium? To talk to the other side.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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