DING DONG! Did you have to ring the doorbell? You just ruined a good knock knock joke!

what is green and smells bad? an orange dolphin that poops out rainbows.

when life gives you lemons your like wait how did i get these lemons??

Why is Skrillex so bad a fishing? He has Parkinson's Disease

Q: What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? A:One is fun to hit with a hammer, the other is a watermelon.

Ask me if i'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

A Haiku It Is This One Is Kind Of Boring Now It's Time For Bed

How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light-bulb? I'm melting!

Violets are blue and/or violet Roses are red so's my blood, see?

Why did the chicken cross the road? Listen, it's a free country.

Two muffins are baking in an oven. What does one say to the other? Nothing. They are both inanimate objects and can't speak.

Whats black, white, and read/red all over? What? Michael Jackson after his surgery.

Why Did The Horse Cross The Road? He Couldn't Because He Was Still-born

If you were on an island with one wish what would you wish for? To get off the island

Yo Mama's so fat that she is at risk for diabetes

A: Why did the chicken cross the road? B: Because he was bringing food to support his wife and 3 kids whom were very hungry and needed it to survive.

Who didnt visit the orphanage this year? Mom...

What do baseball and The Holocaust have in common? They're both sports, except for the The Holocaust.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Having your entire family killed in a car accident

What's small and doesn't turn girls on? A bottlecap.

Ehh

Q: How to fit 10 babies in a suitcase? A: By blender Q: How to get the babies out of the suitcase? A: Using a straw.

What has 17 eyes, 43 toes, 11 feet and, 9 heads? A 17 eyed- 43 toed- 11 footed- 9 headed monster.

If life gives you lemons.... Life is an abstract noun not a physical object so it can not give you lemons.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...