At the Asthma hotline. Caller: Aahhh aahhh *gasp* *gasp* I need you... Woman: *slams phone* DAMN I WISH THESE PERVERTS WOULD STOP CALLING!

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What begins with "F" and ends in "uck"? There are multiple words or word combinations that begin with "F" and end in "uck," such as fat duck, so you dont need me to tell you, be creative.

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whats black and hangs from my tree my neighbor

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What's little and very sad? A 5-year old locked in a cage.

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What did Billy say when he met the president? Nice to meat you Mr. President? -Louis

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whats worse than having the flu? having cancer

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Roses are red, My name is Dan, I have a gun, get in the van

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Whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? She was too tired and was afraid that if she got behind the wheel it might cause her to fall asleep at the wheel which would result in an accident.

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J?????????????????o??????????????????????k?????????????????????????e?????????????????????????????????????s??????????????????? ??????????????????????????????????????o??????????????????????n??????????????????? ??????????????????????????????????????y???????????????????????????????????o????????????????????????????????u????????????????????????????????.?????????????????????????????.????????????????????.????????????????????????

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god made the sea god helped invent the first wheel but as you know he also made me a really big deal !

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What has wings and windows? A bluebird, I was nodding about the windows!

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Worms don't like apples.

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What happened after the man with no arms and legs lost his keys? He called the police.

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Where do bees go to the bathroom? In the hive - they're incontinent.

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Whats the difference between Justin Bieber and Lady Gaga? one of them is a women the other one is not.

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4 black men wearing ski masks and stripped jumpers kicked my door open and ran into my house knocking over and breaking things. They then realised this was not their friends house, apologised, paid for the damaged and left for the fancy dress party.

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How do you stop a black kid from hanging around in your back yard? Hang him in the front yard.

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Two swallows migrate to Africa. One swallows initiates the conversation, that's when the other catch fire.

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I wont vouch for anybody right now, but nobody I know would attack anyone, I know I can be overly sensitive at times, but its not fun anymore, stop that.

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adam hodgson !

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If Billy has 4 apples in his left hand and 6 apples in his right hand, what does he have? Very large hands.

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A Fat person walks out of mcDonalds

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A fake pizza delivery guy goes to a party and tries to deliver DiGornios pizza in another companys pizza box. The party host calls the police and the guy gets charged for stealing another companys uniform and impersonating a pizza palace worker. He had to return the uniform.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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