Why couldn't little sally swim? Because she had weights on her ankles.

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What has two legs, but can't walk? Half a dog.

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I helped build the town school. But when people see me, no one says "Hey, there's the guy that built the town school." I helped put out the flames, when the city was on fire. But when people see me they don't say "Hey, there's the hero that saved the city." But I have sex with one goat.... And people judge me justifiably asd having sex with goats is really disgusting and sticks in peoples minds.

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why didn't the Asian ask for a calculator cause he was doing the dishes and a calculator seemed inappropriate

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Why did the man die? He was old.

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Edward Smith had started telling a long rambling joke when William McMaster Murdoch cut him off with "I don't like where this is headed".

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What smells like smoke, sounds like a pig, and looks like a horse? My mom's boyfriend

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What did the pineapple say to the apple? Nothing, neither can speak.

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Why didn't Anne Frank ever leave the attic? She did.

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Jack and Jill went up a hill to snort a little coke, Jack felt horny , so did Jill. But unfortunately Jack cant's maintain an erection no matter how turned on he is.

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Why is six afraid of seven? SE7EN!

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What's the difference between a educated black man & a educated white man? One's black, One's white

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life is like a box of chocolates........no it's not

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Why was the black man escorted from the bar? Because the bartender was racist.

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What's long and sexy? The Eiffel Tower

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You've been in robotics too long if you start talking to your tools. You've been in there way too long if they start talking back!

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I like my women like i like my coffee... with big titis

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How did the hillbilly fix his PC? He brought it to Wal-Mart and got a diagnostics from an expert then installed anti virus software.

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What did Steve say when his leg got chopped off? Nothing, he went into a state of shock before blacking out due to loss of blood. Later on, he died, and a week later, a funeral was held, in which nobody showed up, because nobody cared for Steve.

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Why was Sally in a wheelchair? Her abusive father beat her repeatedly with a rake.. Then as she crawled out the door to try and get help, the abusive father took his Dodge Ram and ran over her legs reapeatedly. Then began to slap her. Luckily, a vigilante saw the whole thing and slaughtered the father with an axe and carefully escorted Sally to the hospital. After a couple of weeks of beautiful and extraordinary care, Sally made a full recovery and was able to leave.. and all patients have to leave in a wheelchair

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You all have Aids

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Why did the chicken cross the road. He didn't, this joke gets old really fast

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Easy, you get a phone with a recorder that rather than playing a "please leave a message after the tone", plays the same tune as if the phone was still not picked up. Now tell me here and now, because I wont waste more time on you, what part did you play in this? Jenny Chatterton? Another one of your pseudonyms? What the fuck did you think would happen? You live in the Uk, london, so, tell me everything, or I will share every single detail here.

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Why was the Japanese man unable to see? Because it was extremely sunny outside and he had forgotten to wear sunglasses.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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