What do gay kittens eat? Cat food. Friskies and Fancy Feast are both popular brands.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the farmer cross the road? To catch the chicken

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Whats less comfortable than a metal bench? The trunk of a car when you're being abducted.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

what do you say to the preacher when he walks into church? i dont fu***** know, im jewish.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did the little girl with no legs or arms get for Christmas? Cancer. Knock knock? Who's there? Not that little girl.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

what is long, white, and used almost everywhere? there are a lot of things that fit this description, so it would be highly illogical to make a guess.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Q: What do you call an underground train full of professors? A: It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the cow say moo? Because all cows say moo

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's worse then the bomb that went off in boston? The second one right after.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A blonde girl walks into the local dry cleaners. She places a garment on the counter. "I'll be back tomorrow afternoon to pick up my dress." she says. "Come again?" says the clerk, cupping his ear. "I said 'I'LL BE BACK TOMORROW AFTERNOON TO PICK UP MY DRESS'," says the girl, this time louder.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's worse than a teacher yelling at you? The holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Their was once a man named Bob Clemens who really wanted to have sex with an underage girl. So one day he went on an online chat site to find one. He ran into this young girl and told her all the things he wanted to do to her and she told him that she had never done anything and really wanted to try it. Bob went over to her house one day and she told him to sit down and grab some cookies while she came back. She came back and Bob gave her the roughest pounding that any human being could recieve.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Q: What did ine sweaty arab man say to the other sweaty arab man? A: "I'm sweaty"

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Whats the difference in car and a bicycle? One has an engine and drivetrain designed to run on gas and the other is powered by your output of work

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A sheep walks into a baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Your mother is so fat, that if she had 8 clones of her, they would probably not be able to stand in the elevator together due to the maximum capacity, and safety hazard.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A Rabbi walks into a bar. He payed for his drinks, tipped the bar tender, drank a few too many so he got a cab home.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

a red boat and a blue boat collided all the survivors still have nightmares to this day

thumb_up thumb_down +11

"What would Jesus do?" "Form a religion, get nailed to a cross, and become a martyr to millions."

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Gerald: Hey did you know I was named AFTER Abraham Lincoln? Gloria: Because he was born in the 1800's and you were born and named many years afterward? Gerald: Ah... I guess I emphasized that joke a little to much - I'm sorry this conversation happened

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did the cow say to the horse? Mooo

thumb_up thumb_down +11

So a white president,a mexican president, and a black president,are on a plane and its going down. The white president wishes he was a dove, and he flies away to safety. Then the mexican president wishes he was an eagle and he flies away to safety. Then the black president falls out the plane and says o s**t and turns into poop.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

what did the woman say? 'duhhh, i don't have a penis durr durr' (By the way, I'm trying to be not misogynistic, please let me know if you find this misogynistic in any way)

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Knock Knock. Who's there? Chris. Chris who? Wow, I thought we were better friends than that.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops