roses are red violets are blue everyone is stupid how about you? -I'm not Im black

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Knock knock. After 1 and a half minutes of waiting, Phil assumes his friend is not home, and promptly leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Knock knock Who's there? Hi would you be interested in learning about Scientology? No

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Roses are smiling, violets are trying to kill me. DId I mention I'm a paranoid schizophrenic?

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What did the blind and deaf kid get for Christmas? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did the boy drop his ice-cream? He was shot in the back, knifed in the face, kicked in the groin, poo'd on by an alpaka, had frogs stapled to his face, his hair burnt off, pushed off a cliff, eaten by a scorpian, lost his arms legs and eyeballs, squashed by a hippo, ran over by a buss, truck and cement mixer, had cement poured on his frogs (that were stapled to his face), became morbidly obese, was raped by a chicken, was served as sauce at an italian resturant, was done by his mother's father's grandson, broke both of his detatched legs, crashed his car, went into a time machine and was crushed by a stegosaurous, had a lemon squesed in his detatched eyes, got high on cokeawana, was crushed to death by a garbage disposer and was rejected by the hobo at the shelter? no, actually, he tripped

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Q. Why does it take longer to build a blonde snowman? A. Cause you have to hollow out it's head! A blonde walked into a doctor's office with two burnt ears. The doctor asked her, "What happened to your ear?" The blonde replied, "I was ironing and the phone rang, so instead of picking up the phone, I picked up the iron and put it to my ear. Still not satisfied, the doctor asked, "Well, what happened to the other ear?" "The sucker called again!"

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A cricket walks into a bar and the bartender says,"Hey, we have a drink named after you!' and the cricket says,"Oh really? You have a drink named Joe?"

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A man walks into a bar holding a magic lamp. The bartender asks "what are you holding?" The man says "It's a magic lamp." The bartender looks at the man and scratches his head. It turns out the bartender has had a problem with lice in his hair. If you believe in a magic genie is going to grant any wishes you're reading the wrong story. Anyways, the bartender buys medicated shampoo and no longer has head lice. The guy with the magic lamp was totally worthless.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

My name is Harry.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What do you get when you cross an own and a bungee cord? My ass

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A man walks into a bar. Then he buys a beer.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Whats long hard and has seaman? A submarine!

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why is Henrik so AWESOME? Cos HE just IS!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -17

"Grandpa, How did you know that Grandma was the one?" "When her sister dumbed me."

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What's more disturbing than finding an apple in your worm? The fact that you're eating a worm.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

wael.. nuff said

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Joe has 30 candy bars and eats 25. What does john have now? DIABETIES. Joe has diabeties. Please comment!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What do u call a gay dinosaur Tyran a sore arse

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was high.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

How many jews does it take to change a light bulb? Well none today because today is Saturday... maybe tomorrow

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What is easier than making pie? Making cake!

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Policeman: Knock, knock. Woman: Who's there? Policeman: The police. I'm afraid there's been an accident. Your husband has been killed.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops