An Asian person drove home safely.

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A man walks into a bar. There were no survivors.

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Why couldn't the turtle swim? Because he went too close to an oil spill, the petroleum got into his mouth and coated his lungs and he is now dead.

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Why was the little girl sad? An elephant shat on her face

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What did the captcha tell me to write? Tepsyto Dora

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A man walks into a bar and says "Ouch"

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Yo mamma is so old that she lives in a retirement home for the aged, and will most likely die there in several years.

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why did jim die? he had cancer why did jim have no hair? it started to fall out when he was 20 and now he is bald at 30 years old

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A lion walks in to a bar, and murders everyone inside. This is why animals are not aloud in bars.

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what is black and blue and hates sex? the ten year old in my trunk.

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Why did the guy lie down? He was dead.

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hey did you hear about Osama bin laden? He was found by the CIA and killed on account of his atrocious actions.

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Isn't everyday "black tie optional"?

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eden stop

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Why did the muffin not eat the other muffin. Because muffins do not have a digestive system.

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What do you get when you reverse Zelda's Lullaby ? Skyward Sword's theme.

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How many dead babies can fit in the trunk of my car? Seven.

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Why can't helen Keller read? She's dead.

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Did you hear the one about Helen Keller? Neither did she.

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Penis.

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What is the best part about having sex with tweny-six year olds. There are twenty of them. ap~pac

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Knock, Knock. Come in!

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How do you unload a truck full of dead babies? With a pitch fork.

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The only positive thing in my life, is the HIV test! Lymmel

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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