A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

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How many 3 legged black Irish catholic obstetricians, walking into a bar, does it take to make a chicken cross the road? Fish!

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Roses are red Pickles are green I leik ur legs and whats inbetween

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Keep Scrolling Penis Keep scrolling Keep scrolling

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What do you call the man with no arms and no legs? Jeff. Because that's his ****ing name.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Theres a crazy ass alpaca ready to take a shit on you

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What did the 3 month old puppy get for Valentines day? Heart Worms. What'd he get for Christmas? Put down.

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Q: What happened when lost John lost his crack cocaine? A: He bought some weed.

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What did a Chinese man say to the other Chinese man? I don't know, I don't speak Chinese.

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Q: What do a hockey coach and a bar stool have in common? A: because seven ATE nine

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Why was six afraid seven? Well, ever since six took an arrow to the knee he wanted to know who shot it. so he did some investigating, looked up some records and found seven was in the same war as him. then he thought about it, the big 7 scribed on the arrow he got shot with. Right then and there pain went into his back shooting upwards. He smacked the ground, and in his last moments of life saw seven standing above him. If your expecting another end down here then your a stereotype.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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roses are red, violets are blue, I have schizophrenia, which is a serious mental disorder in which I have difficulty properly experiencing reality. It should not be confused with multiple personality disorder, which is a completely different disease with different symptoms.

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don't take life to seriously nobody gets out alive

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Why does everybody look at the foreign boy strangely? Because he was ugly

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I like your hair

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Life is like a box of chocolates, some are brown, and some are white.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: You were adopted.

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Why did the Cross chicken the road? Because it wasn't the way to the Lord

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I work at jcpenny

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Why did the clown fall off the unicycle? Because I shot him in the face.

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There was a asian jew and a black man standing at a bus stop wht do you call the Freinds

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What is similar between a dog and a cat? They are both dogs except for the cat.

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Why did the old man fall down the stairs and died? Because he had a stroke and never got life alert!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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