Why were you in an igloo? I don't know, why were you?

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Paul Walker: Breaks, stop Breaks: No

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whats pink and fluffy? pink fluff.

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What noise did Helen Keller make when she fell out of the window? None. She wasn't aware that she was falling and died immediately upon impact. @rowakaflocka

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your no better than a cockroach

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Oh NOES! She does worry about me! YOU MUST APOLOGIZE! Relax, the body has two sources of happy drugs, one is the sweet calm stuff I am really bad at, and the other comes with adrenaline and stuff, the name of which I do not remember, both are important, but yeah, I am a thrill seeker, and when I do not find them, I make a thrill out of whatever I got, whatever that means.

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what happened to the chicken who crossed the road he didn't realize that the light was green

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What she says: “You’re really sweet, but I have a boyfriend.” What she means: “You’re really sweet, but I definitely don’t want to date you.”

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first

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Why can't vampires go out in the sun? Becuase they don't exist.

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person 1: i have a good knock knock joke person 2: ok what is it? person 1: say knock knock! person 2: knock knock person 1: trollollollollollollo

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Asian son: "I'm using a calculator for my math" Asian mother: "Why not you calculatnow!"

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John has 37 candy bars and eats 36 of them? What does John have? Diabetes, John has Diabetes.

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Uh Erron, you know, I do not spend most of the time before this computer or studying because I am popular nor anything, so that`s one thing, and yeah, I never done it with anybody so yeah, uhh lucky me or something.

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A: Knock, knock. B: Who's there? The writer of this joke had no idea how to end this.

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Why Do Girls Have holes?? For the guys poles.

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What building has the most stories? The Burj Khalifa.

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i said call 911 and they said whats the number?

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how do you get a dog to stop barking? you hit it with a stick.

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Q: What causes earthquakes? A: Your mother walking.

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What did one salt shaker say to the other salt shaker? Nothing, Salt shakers are merely used to add flavor to foods.

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what would happen if every overweight person in america jumped at the same time? they would all get a little exercise.

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I got 99 problems but the ability to count ain't one

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Whats worse than forgetting some thing at the supermarket? your nuts being nail gunned to the wall.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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