In soviet russia, the cow milks you!

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How long did the Hundred Years' War last? 116 years.

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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Blond answers: Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat............?

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Why can't Scrillex fish? Because He is too busy to practice fishing.

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whats worse than the holacost? your mom giving you cubes in your drink when you requested crushed instead

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knock knock whos there? nobody

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What did the boy get for his birthday? Older.

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"I see," said the deaf man, to the blind man, who had no ears.

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Welcome to Horsehead! 1. Our servers are derpy right now, do yourself a favor and never come back, oh yes they are gonna be derpy right then too! 2. THIS IS MY WORLD PEOPLE MYYYYY WOOOOOOOORLD!... ...Ps: My world sucks. 3. Antijokes 30000 per day, other stuff, Zero. (30000 by me) 4. You: People better like me because I dont like myself. Me: I like myself FUCK PEOPLE! FUCK YOU! (thats me on horsehead) welcome to die! 5. IRIS... IRIS! WHAT AM I TYPING FOOOOOOOOOOOOR!

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I need to start studying.

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An Irishman, Englishman and Scotsman come across a magic slide. They each decide to take a turn. The Irishman goes first, sliding down and shouting "GOLD!", and finding himself in a pile of gold as he reaches the bottom. The Englishman slides down screaming "SILVER!", and lands in a heap of silver at the bottom. The Scotsman takes his turn, and shouts "WEEEE!" as he slides down. He gets up and realises what a needless waste of a wish his enjoyment cost him.

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Whats Jewish and Funny? A Jewish Comedian.

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Did you know that in the country of Nigeria, every minute, 60 second passes?

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What do you get when you cross a lamb and a pigeon? You get your house taken away.

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There's a black guy in a mansion. What's he doing there? He owns it.

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whats the difference between a male porsche driver and a porcupine? with porcupines,the pricks are on the outside.

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Three friends were walking to school, they all looked in front of them and ran away. What did they see? A 200 ft dragon eating their school.

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Q:What's red and crawls up your leg? A: A homesick abortion

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HNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNGH

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If one train is heading North at 60 mph, na danother train is heading South at 45 mph, how many waffles are on the roof? The answer is purple, because aliens like coffee.

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I like my women like i like my coffee... with big titis

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Q: what did the white man say to the black man? A: hi

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What is less funny than a clown? Another clown ... but with fewer limbs.

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Why was the little girl sad? An elephant shat on her face

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops