Ask me if I'm a watermelon. Are you a watermelon? No...

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A young woman goes to a wild, infamous nightclub, all alone. She arrives safely at home a few hours later.

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why did the chicken cross the road cause i fucked your mom

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how many people with ADHD does it take to screw in a light bulb? wanna go ride bikes

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An SQL query walks into a bar, sees two tables and asks if it can join them.

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David Copperfield (the magician you moron). "I will now perform my greatest act yet!" Everyone applauded as he put the screaming woman (for effects you know) into the first end of the meatgrinder, and surprisingly grinded meat came out the other side! And the woman? She disappeared... forever! *applause* Moral: BRAVO! BRAVO!

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What do you say to a woman with two black eyes? Nothing, you've already taken her police statement and she doesn't want to discuss the incidentit anymore until her lawyer arrives.

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Why could'nt Ray Charles read: He was black

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My friend asks me what my mom does for a living and i told him that she is a nurse. Then he says "That a good job because she is able to save lives". I quickly reply "She works in an abortion clinic".

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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the girl crossed a road to shoot a black van. she shot the sherrif.

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Why did an old man cause a car accident? He gotf a heart attack.

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What is worse than getting hit by a bus? 9/11

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A blonde takes a test. She scores higher than her Asian friend.

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How do you convince a therapist that he is crazy? Hide in a fortress made of sporks wearing nothing but a belt, and start hissing and throwing paint at him repeatedly.

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I have read and agree to the Terms of Service

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I'm not hungry, so when my mon offered me a pear I said to her "No thanks, I'm not hungry". 

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Why was the house on fire? A dog peed on it.

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What do potatoes wear to bed? Potatoes don't sleep and don't wear clothes.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your penis.

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why cant black people swim? I dont know but they killed my family

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Why was the man lying on the pavement? He was hit by a fridge

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roses are red violets are blue get out of my face before i kill you

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-Whats this? -Anti-Jokes.. -Theyre not funny

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops