Q. What is small, ugly and severely asthmatic? A. My younger brother. Jimmy.

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Barack Obama and a kangaroo pull up to a gas station. The gas station attendant takes one look at the kangaroo and says, "You know, we don't get many kangaroos here." Barack Obama replies, "At these prices, I'm not surprised. That's why we need to reduce our dependence on foreign oil."

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Gotta disappoint you there, you see there are hundreds, perhaps thousands of similar organizations which work for the government, and those I work for are black ops, meaning that I would be putting my life in danger if I told you anything about it besides that fact. Its not listed anywhere, its not FBI, its not legislated by any government yet many governments invest their funds there, you could call it something like the interpool, and something like the underground society, except its multi-government driven... A term I sincerely do not fully understand myself, I have certain talents I put to use, but I lack the education in order to be more than a employee for these people.

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What did one dog say the the other dog? "We are both dogs"

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How do you fit an elephant inside your car? I don't understand why this task would even need to be performed. I have never arrived anywhere in my car and thought "Sure could use an elephant right about now..."

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What's the difference between a blonde and a microwave? If you don't know the difference you need a psychiatrist.

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What did my grandma tell me during a funeral? Nothing. It's her funeral. She's dead.

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why was the black guy that was smoking weed in his car not sent to jail? when the cop pulled him over he thought he was black the way he was dancing but turned out to be white but that just looked black when hes dancing.

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Polly went out for a fag. Then she was raped.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was walking.

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What do you say to the man break dancing?? You don't, call an ambulance he is having an epileptic fit.

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what do u call a black guy who sells drugs a pharmacist

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven is a serial rapist and has been harrassing six for months.

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why does andy speak when not spoken too because he wants a smack

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Two guys are walking on a bridge. One has long hair. The other does not care.

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What would the funeral home do without a dead person? Wait until the next appiontment

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2 Men Walk Into A Bar, I Forget The Rest.

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Whats big and blue and white and if it falls from a tree its sure to kill you. A fridge with a denim jacket on.

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What's the difference between Justin Beiber and a horrible singer? Nothing.

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So a person asked a blonde in America which was closer: the Moon or Canada? The blonde responded "Canada"

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What was even more disgusting than the holocaust? Lucy's new shoes.

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How do you make the general public confused? ...

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Q: Why did the crazy man stare at the orange juice container? A: Because it started talking.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. Come out with your hands up.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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