What's brown and sticky? A lump of shit.

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why did the US nuke japan besause sending chuck norris would be to cruel

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Why did Jay-Z rob a bank? Wait, nevermind. Jay-Z didn't rob a bank.

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Q: whats the difference between a shoe and a ginger? A: shoes have soles.

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Why was little Sammy crying? because she had a frog stapled to her forehead

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How do you stop a black man from drowning? Take away his glass of water.

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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whats worse than 10 babies in a blender 1 baby in 10 blenders

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When the world ends what would be the death toll It would be unknown since every one would be around to calculate it

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How do you find out the population of Mexico? The census.

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Why did the blackman fall off the bike? Because he stole it.

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Why did the man trip over the kitten? He was blind.

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My parents died!

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What did the cop say to the man arrested for speeding? You were going over the speed limit sir, I'm going to have to give you a ticket for that.

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Why did lisa fall of her bike? Because her dad threw a refrigerator at her. -JCB

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compardre No Pew.. Pew.. At mi OINK.. OINKs...

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What would a gay, transgender, mexican man say to another? We could have butt sex.

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What did the black man say when he waked into KFC? Can I use the restroom?

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What happens to a black man when he jumps into a pool of clorox? He turns white!

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2 Black men walk into the bar.. Guess what? There still black.

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What's worse than one bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Three bee stings. Now hats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Three bee stings.

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Bill: Knock, Knock. Sean: Who's there? Bill: It's your neighbor, Bill Walters, from across the street. Sean: Oh, hey Bill, how are you and Margie? Bill: Oh, I'm doing fine, but Margie just got out of the hospital for a broken arm. Sean: My gosh, what happened. Bill: She was just loading the Halloween decorations down from the attic while I wasn't home and fell. She's fine though; it was only a minor fracture. Sean: Well thank goodness she alright. Bill: Anyway, I came over to return those hedge clippers I borrowed from you last month. Sean: Oh, thank you. How did they work? Bill: Just great once I gave them a coat of oil. It was a big job... I haven't trimmed those bushes in three years. Sean: Yeah, these clippers have belonged to my grandfather, father, and me. Bill: Darn, thats quite amazing, I wish I could get a pair of those, but I doubt they still make them. Sean: I'm pretty confident they don't, but you can borrow these anytime. Bill: Thanks Sean thats very generous of you. Sean: No problem, I almost never use them myself. Well I better get back to Jeanie...I'm helping her make dinner. Bill: Alright, Well thanks again.

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What's the difference between Justin Beiber and gay people? Quite a bit, actually, because Justin Beiber is one person, and "gay people" is a community.

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ah-ah. the proper response to an anti joke.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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