Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, and the very next day, I died because I didn't have a heart.

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Why isnt there any mexicans on star trek? Because even in the future they dont work.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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What is blue and has clouds in it? The sky.

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my girlfriend had a weird fetish, she used to dress up like herself and act like a bitch all the time.

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What's red and has two legs? Half a cat!

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DON"T READ THIS!

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What do you call a Mexican that doesn't have a lawn mower? An honest working induvidual that just so happens to live in the city and does not own a lawn mower

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Playing hide and seek with Dennis Ferguson

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How do you get a guitar player to play softer? Ask him to lower the volume a bit and maybe also play a quieter tune.

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Sometimes an alligator will bring you apples. Sometimes it won't.

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Whats the difference between a blonde and a brunette? One is blonde and one is brunette.

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a cow walked into a bar and asked for a large whiskey on the rocks, 'long day, eh' said the barman, 'yes' replied the cow, 'first a large moving obstical was cutting down my food, and then my friend was raped from his milk.'

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it did not realize it was a man-made distinction for constructed transportation vehicles and had a coincidental tendency to walk toward the area on the other side to find food or avoid birds flying over.

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2 + 2 = 4

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Is that my bread? I sure hope so.

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your mama so jewish ( fat ) she had to take up two seats on the plane to fly here in the end there was no chocolate left she was taking up the whole plane space.

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Two pretzels were walking down the street when one got assaulted...

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Question: What is worse then a worm in your apple? Answer: A number of different things I would imagine...

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Once apon a time, a man read a book. As he started the book, he said ''once apon a time, a man read a book. As he started the book, he said ''once apon a time, a man read a book. As he started the book, he said ''once apon a time, a man read a book ... it goes on forever. Epilogue: the man and son eventually died because a microphone swallowed a frog. THE END P.S.: I didn't close the quotations. P.S.#2: I don't know what ''P.S. stands for. P.S.#3: I didn't close the quotation again.

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what is worse than finding finding an apple in your worm? Finding your peanut shells in your peanut.

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Every day thousands of pets and animals are beaten, neglected and abused.

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What do you call a black man with cancer? Someone with cancer

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What did the Jews say before they got of the bus? Let's make like a Jewish kid's forskin and get the hell out of here.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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