why did the mexican cross the road? To get into America. Why did the chicken cross the road? It was on its way to warn everyone that the sky was falling Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass. Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? cause he's Chuck Norris. What do you call a man who gets a check in the mail every month for doing nothing? A black man

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Your mother is so ugly that I removed her from my friends list on Facebook.

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"Wow, that was so funny i fell off my dinosaur!" Dinosaurs went extinct in the late Cretaceous period, about 65 million years ago. Commonly believed by scientists across the world to have been caused by an ancient meteor that crashed in the current day Yucatán peninsula in Mexico. Also, even if you were around during the Cretaceous period, i assure you that no dinosaur would let you climb on top of it, let alone ride it while you're not highly terrified because of the sheer danger of the experience. Now unless you are 65 million years old, I highly doubt you laughed so hard that you fell off the dinosaur that you supposedly own.

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What did the farmer say when his cow got stuck in a tree? Nothing, it didn't get stuck in the first place because cows are incapable of climbing trees.

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Waiter, there is a hydrogen conducting carbon nanotube in my soup. That is part of the special, sir.

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What is the crunchiest part of a Vegetable? It depends if by Vegetable you mean the food or the disabled human incapable of carrying out simple, daily tasks, in which case this joke would be referring to canibalism.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? A second Holocaust. What's worse than a second Holocaust? Being raped by Santa Claus. What's worse than that? NOTHING.

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don't take life to seriously nobody gets out alive

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Can you pass the soda? Sure.

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Why did the duly oppressed individual where sunglasses? Because the sun was bright.

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A black man is seen next to a dead man. Who do you call? The ambulance.

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Why did the kid eat his homework because the teacher said it was a piece of cake

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead.

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot you racist.

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If Selfish Sam has twelve cookies and Tricky Todd asks for three then how many cookies does sam have left? Twelve. Remember he's selfish

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A Mormon walks into a bar.

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What's the difference between a sewer pipe and a French fry? A lot

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A mass murderer ran into a bar full of people. He first shot a man. What did the man say when the murderer shot him? Nothing, he was hit in the head and instantly died before he could say anything.

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Why were the 3 men wearing black suits? They just left their mothers funeral, she died of terminal cancer.

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Roses are blue Colton is gay

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? Not Suzie.

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Person 1: what is 2 + 2? Person 2: 4 Person 1: no Person 2: what is it than? Person 1: vagina

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That awkward moment when you wonder why this person keeps stepping on you, and you realize that you’re a shoe.

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CIA? You? Are you a CIA agent? Wow!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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