Why was the boy afraid of the dark? he was blind

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What is worse than a papercut? Losing your legs in Vietnam.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What do you call a saxaphone playing unicorn, that's flying away to a distant planet on a penguin? a dream

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the chicken cross the road? He lost his punch line. -by Ross

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Your mom as so fat that I'm gonna give you the name of this doctor because I really care for you...... And don't want to see you so stressed because she is so fat.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why couldn't the T-Rex clap his hands? Because he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What did the doctor say to his patient with cancer? "You have cancer...".

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Quinn Grifith Randel lives in Roswell, GA

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's black and white and read all over? Half a zebra.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Q: Why do blondes wear hoop earrings? A: Those that wear them think that said earrings positively accentuate their physical appearance.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What is yellow, and cannot swim? A School Bus.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

on a scale from a banana to a pound coin - how much do you like the works of antonio vivaldi?

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Justin Beiber

thumb_up thumb_down -3

As a stand-up comedian, I've been really interested in how comedians have recovered from jokes not hitting making fun of the fact. Recently, I was in a situation where a rhetorical question didn't hit, and anti-joking (lamenting on the lack of a punchline sarcastically) ended up generating the laugh I needed to move on! Hurray for Anti-jokes! Me: You know the gym Extreme Fitness? Audience: SILENCE Me: (sarcastically) Yes, exactly. That's exactly how that interaction went in my mind when I was practising at home. I ask question - audience responds euphorically - I continue with my joke... http://michaeljagdeo.wordpress.com/2012/01/29/anti-jokes-how-to-recover-when-a-joke-doesnt-hit/

thumb_up thumb_down -3

whats the difference between a bench and a mexican? a bench can support its family

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What did the boy without arms get in his Christmas present? A pair of gloves. Just kidding, he didn't open it yet.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Three blind mice go into a pub, but they are unaware of their surroundings so to derive humour from it would be exploitative.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

This boy. We shall call him George. George was skating down the street when he passed the market. George stopped and looked in when he saw this SWEET pair of shoes! They were priced for 20 bucks. So George rushed home and went to his dad who was mowing the lawn. "DAD DAD!" "what?" The dad said. "I FOUND THESE SWEET PAIR OF SHOES! Can you lend me 20 bucks?" His dad shook his head and George ran inside the house and went up to his mom who was washing the dishes. "Mom can you lend me 20 bucks for these sweet shoes?" His mom just looked at him funny and said, "No". Angry, George set off upstairs to his sister's room who was on the computer. "Sis can you lend me...." "GET OUT OF MY ROOM!!" She slammed the door in his face. George sighed and went to his room. But before he got to his door, he saw a 20 dollar bill on the floor. He picked it up and rushed to the store. Once he got the shoes he ran back home to his dad. "Dad DAD! Look at these.." He stopped and saw his dad that was under the lawnmower dead. George shrugged and went inside to his mom. "Mom mom! Look at these...." He stopped and saw that his mom was stuffed in the dishwasher, dead. George sighed and ran upstairs to show his sis. "Hey sis look at...." She was found with her head in the computer screen, dead. So George sighed and walked down to the living room. He plumped on the couch and wondered about how his family died. Then there was a knock on the door. George hesitated. It knocked again. He got up and went to the door. Opened it and out stood a penguin. He stared at the penguin. "What do you want?!" The penguin stared back. What did he say?????? Nothing penguins can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

How did the man jumping out of the plane at 33,000 feet survive? Because he had a parachute

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Roses are red Violets are blue I like to slap hookers

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Knock, knock. "Who's there?" "Jehovah's Witness." "Jehovah's witness, who?" "Just Jehovah's Witness. Your doorbell is not working."

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A chicken decides to cross a road. Unfortunately it gets ran over and does. The end.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What do you call a man that paints on a his face and wears big shoes? Lady Gaga.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What is the difference between a duck and a cow? One is an aquatic fowl and the other is a farmland mammal.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops