Knock Knock. Who's There? Oh wait! i don't care!

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How do you stop a baby from drowning? Take your foot of his head

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To men stay at the bar all night drinking non stop. They soon are rushed to the hospital to get their stomachs pumped.

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what do you say to your girlfriend just after the best sex you ever had? I really got great value for money tonight with my prostitute sweety. You should have been there

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A: what does hellen keller say to her mom? B: nothing. she cant speak due to her lack of hearing and visualizing

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Hello Braydon I am at home where are you?

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One day, 2 people were gonna fight after school and then the final bell rung. Everyone gathered in the bathroom to watch the fight. The challenger asks the opponent, "Hey whats that one thing you say when you let the other person win?" then the opponent says, "I give up?" The opponent yells, "I win!"

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A man walks into a bar, asks for a drink. He then realises that it was a metal bar and not one that serves alcoholic beverages. He then ponders the mysteries of the world and the universe.

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A man walked in to a bar, he ordered a few drinks, met some new friends and had a good laugh with them. Later that night, he got in his car and drove home, which was foolish, as he should have known that being under the influence of alcohol increases the percentage of a collision, which could take his life and the lives of others. He arrived home just fine and got in to bed with his wife who was happy to see him.

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Q: Why did the clown fall off the swing? A: Because he was shot in the face

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If you pull a pin out of a grenade, is it possible to put it back? I need a quick answer for this question.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Some chocolate and a new DVD.

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A doctor rides in his Mercedes Benz through a rough, poor part of town. He sees a homeless person who is begging for money. The doctor stops and gets out of his car and asks "Ill give you some money if you need it for food". The homeless person then shoots and kills the doctor, takes his wallet, and buys crack.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks, "Why the long face" To which the horse replies by trampling him to death for making rude remarks about his face.

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Why did you loose the basketball game? Because they scored more points than us.

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Scrooge McDuck dives headfirst into his pool of gold coins... He breaks his neck from the impact of the landing and dies.

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A retarded man speaks jibberish, because he is retarded

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Q: why was the gay guy sad A: Becasue he was stright.

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Why can't Ray Charles read? Cuz he is blind You illiterate uneducated racist bastard trying to say it was because he was black.

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Cum on guys, gay jokes arent funny!

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A mother with a bum hip and her son go to walk up a set of stairs in the mall. The floor was slippery because the janitor just mopped the floor. They decide to take the elevator instead.

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what do santa clause and a blueberry have in common they both have beards....except the blueberry

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What is rectangular, white and has two wheels? A limo getting its wheels replaced.

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WHAT DOES A NUMBER DO WHEN IT'S HORNE? MATHDERBATION

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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