Two monkeys are sittin in a bathtub. The first monkey says to The second, "HEY! pass the soap." The second says to the The first monkey, "DUDE. thats not soap, its a typewriter!!!!"

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Why did the teacher ask her student about the test? Because she was in the hospital the day of the test because her husband was hit by a rail road spike and died but she was so devoted to her job she wanted to know.

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Why did the Mexican sneak across the US border? There aren't many good jobs for him in Mexico, and with the cost of living in his small village, he will be able to provide for his entire family of seven on just minimum wage in California. He will miss his family terribly while he is away from them, but he believes it is worth it in the end. Once he saves enough, he will pay the coyotes to smuggle the rest of his family over so they can be together again. Hopefully none of them will die on the journey.

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My Texting Convos: "Heyy!" "Hi!" "Watz up?" "nm hbu?" "Same here!" "Koolio!(: So wrud?" "Nothing. Just texting you!" "Yea! Same! I'm so bored! And tired!" "Ikr!" "Yupp!" *No one answers. When this is what you really want: "I love you soooo much!" "Awwwwh!<3 I loe you too!" "Do you wanna go out?(;" "YES!!(:" "ily<3" "iyl2<3" *convo goes on forever(: Moral: Purple tomatoes are books of yellow buttons on hands(;

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What did one muffin say to the other Muffin? Nothing, muffins have no method of communication in any way shape or form

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A apple a day is good for your overall health and you should schedule check ups with your doctor to maintain good health and avoid seeing him everyday.

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Thomas Hobbes had a happy life. Actually he didnt, he was born prematurely causing his mother to die. Then his dad left him at an early age to the care of an abusive older brother because he was an alcohollic. He did inspire many political beliefs though

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what happened to the guy that got shot in the head? Nothing, it was a water gun.

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Yo mamma so fat We are all seriously concerned for her health

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how do you burn a lot of calories? set a fat kid on fire

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because it would be hazardous to other motorists well-being.

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RACIST JOKE: how to start a footrace in ghana role a donut down a hill

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Roses are red Violets are blue This poem is wrong As violets are violet

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why was the blonde fired from the factory? she ate the maneger's fingers.

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What's worse than getting arrested? getting arrested on your birthday.

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if you consider his name parents name social security number hospital born date born and nurses signature all on a peice of paper then i guess you consider that his birth certificate

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What 2 differences does a potato have in common? They both have very thin skin.

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Why was 2 afraid of 3? Because 345!!!!!

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Text this number just cuz 16305208722

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The blonde, brunette and,the red headed girls were at a store. When the blonde says......... im tired let's leave.

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Where is Osama now? Telling this joke.

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What do you call a girl with one leg? Eileen

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Q: Why was the boy sad? A: Because his mother just got raped.

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Wanna hear a dead baby joke? Brittany Spears is pregnant

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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