Q: Why does a zebra have stripes? A: Because Sarah Jessica Parker is a horse.

Jim just got laid off at the office. He believes his life is going to hell, so he commits suicide. His wife then later was blamed for his death because they were having many arguments. She was sentenced to life and slowly rotted in prison for the rest of her life. Their children then are moved around from foster home to foster home and they grow up to be drug dealers.

Girlfriend has 10 letters, but then again, so does freeeeedom

What's red and blue and goes 105 MPH? A red and blue car.

Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why couldn't she get back up? She had no legs.

So I was sitting in traffic the other day... And I got run over.

Q: What's worse than finding a shrimp platter on a babys hand. A: A baby's hand on a shrimp platter

Q: What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the bat mobile? A: Robin get in the bat mobile.

whats worse than a chicken crossing the road 10 dead babies in a bucket

They see me trollin' They hatin'...

Why was timmy having trouble with his homework? Because lobotomies were a forced practice in the 1950's.

Eeny meeny miny moe, Catch a piglet by its toe, If it squeals let it go, Or you'll be arrested for animal abuse and receive a heavy fine.

Why did the little boy viciously slash the orange object with a carving knife? Because it was Halloween.

Tommy got neutered.

How did the girl fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms.

How do you sneak Jews across the border? In an ashtray.

Why did 9/11 take place? Because God hates Satan

A guy walks into a bar and is promptly escorted out because he is only 19 years old.

What's the best time to go to the dentist? Whenever your appointment is scheduled.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To mutilate the body of a Jewish girl that lay on the other side.

What did the alien say to the parachute? We're connected

How many Mexicans can you fit in a Smart car? None. It's too damn small!

Whats Funnier than the Holacaust? A: Nothing you asshole!

What did the cancer patient say before they died? I am in so much pain. I love you all

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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