Why did Devon move out of his mom's house? His mom beats him.

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Whats the difference between a pizza and your mom? Your mom's a bitch.

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Why did Jenny fail her driving test? She was hit by a train.

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Why couldn't little Sally fall asleep? She was on fire.

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He I just met you, and this is crazy, but you sister just died here's her baby.

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How do you rescue a fat girl that's stuck under a car? With a pickaxe and a donkey.

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why didn't the chicken cross the road? there are no roads in factory farms.

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Q: Why couldn't the ginger play soul music ? A: He couldn't hit the right notes

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What's worse than tripping over a tree root? The destruction of the ancient city of Pompeii in A.D. 79. Though tripping over a tree root may hurt and result in the victim bleeding profusely, we live in the 21st century and at any time can call a doctor using a cellular device called a phone. In A.D. 79, no technology in this category existed. People were overpowered by the rage of a mountain that they believed was a sign of the wrath of the heavens. People had to flee the city and a majority of them we killed by either inhaling to much smoke or other causes. This continued for over 18 hours. Therefore, the destruction of Pompeii is far worse than tripping over a tree root.

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If the blue man lives in the blue house, and the yellow man lives in the yellow house, who lives in the white house? The blue man. He has made a good living with a high salary and has enough money to afford two houses.

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Jim bean takes out a can of- Let me guess- No.

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I Have A Dog Named Woof Woof A Chicken Called Clucky A Cow Named Moo And A Pig Named Oink Lol Jks I Was Talking About My Wife

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Q: Who wants a chick with big breasts? A: Everyone apparently, because chickens are being genetically engineered that way because people are racist about what part of the chicken then want to eat. The white meat or the dark meat. Guess what? Now they can't walk because they are top heavy. And who's fault is that? The people who only eat the white meat.

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A man walks in to a bar, wakes up the next morning with the news that they have found a cancerous tumor in his neck.

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Why was the little boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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Q: What do you call justin bieber? A: gay

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I don't know why.

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Q: Why did the little girl scream? A: She didn't have a rape whistle.

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Why did the wee boy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a truck.

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Why couldn't Harry Potter get a job at Mc Donalds? Because he isn't real.

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What's yellow, long, hard, and moves up and down? A banana in an elevator...

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chuck norris

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"It smells like Up dog in here." "How do you know what the dog from the movie "Up" smells like? It's computer-animated and not real." "I...I think I have a brain tumor..."

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A gorilla walks into a bar and gets a banana martini. The bartender thinks that this is peculiar, and then he realizes he is dreaming. He wakes up and tells his wife about this ridiculous dream that he had. His wife ignores him, and the man rolls over and begins to sob because he realizes that his marriage is in shambles.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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