Why was King Triton mad at Ariel? Her grades were under the C.

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Why did the dog have no legs? Because its previous owner had cut them off.

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Why was the blonde in the bathroom for 2 hours. She had to pee really bad.

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A man walk's into a bar with a monkey, I fotgot the rest of the joke. Your mom is a whore.

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Knock knock Who's there. Interrupting cow, sorry you can see where this is going, just let me in without asking any more questions please.

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We got him in about five minutes, the kid will already be exhausted by the point we get to him, r rather, he gets to us. Pretty quick for a small geek I got to say, the photography we got of him is an obvious Photoshop, but he seems similar enough I guess. I would call, but it seems someone has been messing with all other "Erron`s" homes and phones if I had not dropped mine, I would not have noticed we have been bugged for a while, pretty professional gear too,

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Why did the boy throw his clock out the window? After hours of waiting for the perfect victim, the boy spotted an elderly woman walking down the sidewalk. The clock barreled through the air, hitting the old woman on the head at extremely high speeds. She was immediately killed on contact.

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A man goes to an amusement park. He heads straight for the roller-coaster and gets in line. When he gets to the front, the ride operator informs him that he is too short to ride. "You must be at least 48 inches, sir, you just barely miss the mark, I'm sorry, I can't let you ride." The man is sad, but he doesn't let this little discrepancy ruin his day. He then gets in line for a different ride.

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A horse walks into a bar The bartender says "why the long face?" The horse says nothing, because he's a horse The bartender soon relizes there is a horse in his bar, and calls animal control

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Why does the gay person where a leather motorcycle suit? Because he drives motorcycles.

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Hey, I just met you And this is crazy This song doesn't rhyme PENIS

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What is the difference between a Ferrari and a bag of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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What's worse then having gum stuck on the bottom of your shoe? Having a stick poked in your eye. What's worse then having a stick poked in your eye? Having a nail go through your foot. What's worse then having a nail go through your foot? Having a stick poked in your eye and a nail going through your foot.

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In the middle of a long flight from Heathrow to Chicago O'Hare, the passengers of a 747 watched the engines all suddenly flame out. "Now, folks," the captain said over the PA as the plane plummeted to the earth, "I want it on record that I said it in plain English: a 747 can't fly from Heathrow to Chicago without refueling." No one bothered writing it down.

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Why'd Mary fall off her bike? Because she was hit by a bus. Knock knock? Who's there? Not Mary... O.o

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What's worse than eating a baby? Eating two babies filled with maggots.

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How many Caucasian American males does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

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What is worse the the Holocaust? Nothing

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Roses are red Bob is dead My name is Dave Your a microwave

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Why did two rhinos engage in vigorous sex? They were horny.

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What's the worst thing about gang rape? Going last.

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What do you call a white sheep with no legs? A cloud What do you call a black sheep with no legs? A shit.

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What did the duck get for Christmas. A potato. Not really it got nothing because it's a duck

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what do u call a newspaper boy on brake? your uncle because hes broke and struggling with income.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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