Yo mamma's so short that she is 12 inches below the average height of a woman at her age.

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A seal walks into a club... the seals freinds later inform him they are now at a bar the seal then walks into the bar... the seal was later beaten to death

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why does little Lucy have no friends? because she is in a wheelchair

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Your momma is so fat she has an increased risk or cardiac arrest due to obesity. I ridicule her based on the theory that her morbid obesity is due to the fact that she has a diet consisting of large amounts of calories and high fat content and/or she is known to be very sedentary and does not partake in physical exercise. However, if this increase in body fat content is due to genetics I retract my previous statement and wish only the best for her, also, you might want to lower your calorie intake and visit your local gym, lest you succumb to morbid obesity, much like your mother.

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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck would chuck wood? The etymology of the name woodchuck is unrelated to wood or chucking. It stems from an Algonquian (possibly Narragansett) name for the animal, wuchak. The similarity between the words has led to the common tongue-twister that you have just stated.

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How do you get dislikes on anti-joke.com? You can dislike your own post from several different IP addresses.

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What's worse than getting sockson your birthday? Getting cancer on your birthday.

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What do you call a book of notes? A notebook.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What would you call Kenny Dalgleish if he was black? Mr Dalgleish in a formal setting, Kenny in an informal one.

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Why can't Kim and Arnold get childern ? because they are 2 stones.

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People with Alzheimers will not remember this joke

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how many babies dose it take to paint a fence it depends on how hard you throw them

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It couldn't handle the stress and pressure of being a duck so it committed suicide by crossing a road and therefor being run over by a car.

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Why are lizards broke? Because they run around the desert with no money...

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So my teacher came upto me, and says "At the end of this ruler is a idiot" so I said "Which end?" I got detention.

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Where is aodhan's ma? Jail, she was cought with a bag full of the white powder.

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut you racist bastard

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I'm Batman.

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Q: what did the emo girl use to check her email? A: A computer.

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Why was the black man in prison? He was wrongly accused of a felony and the jury by whom he was tried was largely racist.

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What would George Washington be doing if he was alive today? Scratching and screaming at the bottom of his coffin.

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knock knock whose there open the door open the door who just open the door so i can come inside

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How did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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