A man walks into the office for an appointment. The doctor proceeds to perform the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

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a man walks into a bar the other man ducks

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A black man shoots someone. He was a cop and he killed a dangerous man who attacked him.

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On her day off, a fully clothed stripper walks into a bar she's never been to before. The regulars turn their heads to see who has just walked in, then turn back to their own conversations.

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A black man is pulled over doing 66 in a 65 zone. He asks the officer what the problem is and the officer says his left tail light is out

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What's more greasy than grease? Kevin's hair

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A teenage girl walks into a bar. She sits down and watches the TV up against the wall. The bartender walks by and says "Hello, do you have I.D." The girl says "No, I'm just here waiting for my ride." The bartender then says "Well I'm sorry to have to tell you this but you gotta be 21 or over to sit in the bar." The girl says "Okay, but is there anywhere I can wait that is safe?" The bartender asks "Why?" and the girl replies "Well, I've been hiding from my ex boyfriend. I just broke up with him an hour ago. He was very controlling and he is still not over me. So now I'm here waiting for my new boyfriend." The bartender says "What you have a new boyfriend already? Maybe that's why your ex was angry." The girl says "yeah, I know, oh look there's my ride. It was nice talking with you, have a good night."

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EVOLUTION OF MODERN SAYINGS 1 The Samurai: If at first you don't succeed, kill yourself. The British: If at first you don't succeed, give up The Americans: If at first you don't succeed, sue someone, then try again in hopes of a larger payout next time

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Why did the boy cry when he sat on Santa's lap? Because Santa's boner reminded him of his pedophiliac step-father.

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Why don't elderly people act their age? because they die.

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What happen when the man preposed to his girlfriend? He regretted for the rest or his life.

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why did the man buy kool aid? because it was on sale and he was thirsty

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How do you get a black guy down from your tree? You tell him to do so.

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What is the difference between a watermelon and a baby? One you can smash with a hammer and the other is just a watermelon.

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taking out the trash... at night

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Who wants $300? Me too.

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whats worse than being payton johnson being black

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Emily Scarpello...Fat Couch

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Hey I just met you you are a sneaker smell my gym socks and then pick oot throughyour nose

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Joe Bereta is a member of al Qaeda.

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A horse walks into a bar. Just kidding, it's a panda.

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What do you call a calculator without a brain? A calculator.

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What the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair.

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What do Selena and Justin, Kate and William, and Barack and Michelle all have in common? Nothing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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