Well Erron, its your lucky day then. I wont even ask what a cream pie is.

Whats 89 x 67? Sponge. Whats 10 + 9? 19 Whats 9 + 10? 21!

What do you get when Johnson cooks toast? Shit toast.

Whats 1+1? The answer!

A pony goes to the doctor saying his throat hurts, the doctor sais "oh I know, your a little hoarse". The pony replies, no I'm not ass-hole I have strep throat.

What did the monk say to the 1 legged, Asian prostitute Nothing, Monks take a vow of silence.

Roses are yellow Violets are carpet.. Get it...?

why am I who i am, and you are who you are? dick spice

Why did Susan fall off the swing? -Because she has no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Susan.

why did Suzy play jump rope with the neighbors kids? She had no legs!

Hey Jew. What? Shut up.

Roses are Red. Violets are Blue. Faces like yours belong in the Zoo. Don't be mad I will be there too. Not in the gate but laughing at you.

Knock Knock DAMMIT WOMAN MAKE ME A SAMMACH

Why can't Micheal J. Fox draw a perfectly straight line? It is impossible for humans to draw perfect lines.

A Jew, Christian and a Muslim walk into a bar. They have fun there a good time and then they go home.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 commited statutory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8 with 10 and 11, murdered 9, and was sentenced to jail for life.... eventually the case was dropped and 7 was let out early for community service. He told 6 he was coming for him 6 months later.... 6 was so terrified he didn't know what to do... he was living in fear... eventually he commited suicide by jumping off a cliff just off the coach of Palm Beach into the pacific ocean. His body was never found His family didnt get to say good bye... This is why 6 was afraid of 7

What did the flight attendant get for Christmas? A Trebuchet from medieval times dating back to the 12th Century CE.

what is big, grey and sits in the middle of a field. A filing cabinet

Your mom is so fat that her Body Mass Index is 30,?which is considered obese, she should really try to lose some weight.

Whats worse than stubbing your toe? The Holocaust.

Yo mama so fat! She should be concerned because diabetes is a serious problem that can lead to a heart attack. Also STOP EATING MCDONALDS.

Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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