A bear walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "Can I have... ...a beer." The bartender asks, "What's with the large pause?" To which the bear replies, "I have... ...a speech impediment."

question: do zombies eat brains answer: actually zombies don't exist, so they don't eat anything

I like my coffee the same way I like my women: without a penis!

Q: What happened when the rich man got married? A:His wife stole everything he had and left him a cold and broken man.

What do you get if you cross a canine and a sheep? A Sheepdog. What do you get if you cross a cat and a dog? You fucking stupid? It cant be done!

what did the kid with no arms and no legs get for x-mas a bike

Why was the woman sad on her 21st birthday? Because she was born on September 11,1980

How did the baby die? In a very sad and tragic car accident.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to his mother's funeral.

what did the baby say to his mum? he sed bfirbvuirnvkjwmndckie

Knock knock Who's there Boo Boo who DONT BE SUCH A PUS*Y

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know chickens are absent minded creatures that can aimlessly walk around.

Why did John suck at sports? He was mentally retarded and had no friends.

What is purple and rhymes with apple? Nothing

Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

What do you call an African American sitting on a park bench? Elephant-man (I forgot to mention, he has a giant elephant trunk)

what did the blind, deaf, paraplegic child get for christmas? other than cancer, nothing.

How many black people does it take to change a lightbulb? The same amount as white people, stop being racist.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being held for random.

roses are red lemons are sour open your legs and give me an hour

Do you need a life...? You can borrow mine! lol JUBIE! :()

Penis.

Why did the girl fall off of the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

A doctor walks into a bar, he stumbles backwards as he is taking his coat off, and the barman chuckles.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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