What did the commentor say when he saw the "waht's worse than finding a worm in your apple...the holocaust." joke? I am offended to your cruel referance to worms.

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How do you make a plumber mad? You tell him that his princess is in another castle about a thousand times over 25 years.

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What did dick Cheney say to his friend that he accidentally shot in the face while quail hunting? Sorry for shooting you in the face

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okay so one time my dog was eating an octopus tail and i was all like...Bro! octopus are our friends dont eat them! then he was all like okay...so later i saw my goldfish eating a blue kangaroo and i was all like bro blue kangaroos are our friends dont eat them and she was all like okay.. so then i saw my sandwich eating itself and i was like bro...let me eat you instead! and it was like okay. then i saw a bear eating you so i was like bro....thats all i said before it ate both of us :( and thats the story of why i have 6 toes on my left buttcheek

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Q. Why did the boy throw up on the bus? A. All his friends around him died in the accident

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So this farmer had theses two amazingly fast horses, one named slokey and the other pokey. They would run in the pasture and bring many people to watch. So one day this man says hey, you should enter them in the county derby. So he does and the whole race its slokey, pokey slokey, pokey, and slokey wins by a nose. So after the farmer collects his prize money a man walks up and says, hey those horses are pretty fast, you should enter them in the state derby. So he loads his horses up to the capital and prepares them. When the gates open slokey and pokey dash out of the gate. The whole race its slokey, pokey, slokey, pokey, and slokey wins by a nose. After all the press conferences a man says, hey you should enter those horses in the kentucky derby. So the farmer enters them and drives down to kentucky. The gates open and the whole time its slokey, pokey, slokey, pokey, and slokey wins by a nose. After the press meetings a man says hey you should enter your horses in the european derby. The farmer says no, im going to retire my horses. One fall afternoon pokey says to slokey, man, i wish i could have won a single race. So they race around the huge pasture and the whole way its slokey, pokey, slokey pokey, and pokey wins by a nose! All the farm animals go crazy and the farm dog says "congratulations pokey you finally won!" And pokey says "HOLY SHIT A TALKING DOG!"

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Neil Armstrong was the first man to walk on the moon and Micheal Jackson molests little boys.

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Anti pick up line: Boy: If I could re arrange the letters I would put U and I together. Girl: Oh really because if I could rearrange the letters I would put F and U together By Adam Chebali

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Roses are red violets are blue I can't rhyme fridge

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srrsly, the fuk is going down here? read down It`s satanist rituals or something, Are there mmodderators that will remove this things seriusly!Moral stuf is satanism!!!!

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Q: Why was the teacher sad? A: Because she got fired

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How are black people and apples the same They both hang from trees

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Q: Why did your mom cross the street? A: Because she was so ugly that she fell off both sides of the bed

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Your momma's so fat that she can't pass through some turnstiles and needs go through some other way with people staring and feel sad about it.

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What ever happened to the bartender that asked, "Why the long face?" He was punched hard on the face for asking a stupid cliche!

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? it had vaginal warts

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was in the designated crosswalk area and there was no oncoming traffic.

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Two black guys walked into a bar. And they killed everybody.

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Two trees sit in a dark forest. Between them is a small hare. The wind blows hard and rustles the trees. The hare then looks up, and then forward. He hops away.

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Koalas mum is a slut

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You will not press the like button.

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A: Do you like it B: No

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? .....Neither have they.

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What did the DVD player say when a video tape was put in? You incompatible.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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