What is the difference between green and desert sage? About 20 bucks a gallon.

Why did the mexican mow the lawn. Because the grass in his front yard is longer than he likes it .

Okay, an ambulance is arriving for me (cops called it whatever I am fine) If you are still reading this then get the fuck out before I fire you no more messages.

Knock knock Who's there? A pedofile, get in the van Ok

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit by a passing car.

A guy watches a porno. When it is over, he said; "Wow, that was deep"

Going out for a quiet one, having a drink or two, and returning home.

How do you know a blonde's been in your refrigerator?? There's lipstick on the cucumber!

ur gey

What do a boat and a computer have in common? Nothing

Why didn't the vampire go to the Garlic festival? Because it sucks.

Who is the Greek god of STDS? Herpies

What's better than sex? I have never had sex and, therefor, do not have adequate knowledge of the experience enough to make a comparison to other experiences. You should ask someone who has had sex.

What's funnier than diarrhoea? Cancer What's funnier than cancer? The holocaust

A man gets three wishes from a talking banana. His first wish is for a gay lover, his second wish is to have a naked grizzly bear, and his third is to become a professional tennis player. Soon after he got Aids from the Grizzly bear.

What is the difference between a woman and a catfish? One is a bottom-feeding scum-sucker and the other is the most common term for adult females of the human race.

Why didn't the family finish their picnic? Because a dog was sick all over the food.

What's black and white and red all over? A dead penguin

What's yellow and talks? A talking giraffe.

60+8.99999999=68.99999999 soo close

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was attached to a bomb filled with spoons

How many people does it take to screw in a light bulb? To get to the other side

Life

What the person say to the other Person? Hi.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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