dude... what would you do if i punched you in the face? i would pee on you

thumb_up thumb_down -17

How do you get a clown off a swing? Hit him with an ax.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

yo mumma is so smelly i can distictly smell her more than her perfume

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Women's rights.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

raising eyebrows to expose eyes can also be a signal of attraction ('I'm looking at you, gorgeous. Can you see?').

thumb_up thumb_down -17

An asian man, a black man, and a white man walk into a bar. All three of them order a scotch, coincidentally this is their favorite beverage.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Knock knock! Why didn't you use the doorbell?

thumb_up thumb_down -17

How did the blond become a pilot? By attending flight school, graduating, applying to an airline to which she subsequently was hired to, taking frequent training courses, and beginning work.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Q:how many ping-pong balls do you need te get a crocodile off of a slide ? A:none, because an engine doesn't have doors

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What characterizes a good joke? The lack of a punch line.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A man walks to his coathanger and shouts: "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!" his wife says not to because the Rapist 'Eggman' was out again. He says he will be careful. On his way to the store, he hears "They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggen-" but the man shouts "AND I'M THE WALRUS, SO SHUT UP AND GET OUTTA MY FACE OR I'LL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" the Eggman and the singer became friends and found two more from Liverpool who were excellent musicians. They formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band's breakup.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

is this the krusty krab? no this is smooth lobster.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Roses are red Zombies are hungry and blue My brain is half-eaten And what about you?

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Who is big and stupid My brother

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What has potential but is in fact disappointing? This joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do you call a needy person? A person whos needs need needs.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Roses are red violets are blue I'm a bitch and so are u????????

thumb_up thumb_down -19

whats every colour and loved by everyone Mario

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's wife? No. Oh don't worry then.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why does life hand you lemons? Because it sucks enough, so it wants you to have some.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why do women go to the bathroom together? To clean their filthy pussies.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Q: Why did the guy ring the doorbell? A: Because he was sick of all the crappy knock-knock jokes

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What is a gremlin's favorite snack? Gremlins aren't real.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do you get when you cross a helicopter, elephant, and a rhino? Heliphino

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops