There is a 5 second long and extremely depressing video, most cant watch it for any longer than 6 seconds

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What did the man say to the man with no head? You have no head

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Wishing to teach his donkey not to eat, a pedant did not offer him any food. When the donkey died of hunger, he said: ‘I’ve had a great loss. Just when he had learned not to eat, he died.

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What did the Johhny say to the black man when he saw him buying a watermelon? Nothing, Johnny is mute.

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A pilot walks into a bar just before his last flight of the day. "Give me a stiff one to get through this last flight, I've had a long day," the pilot tells the bartender. The bartender promptly refuses the pilot service and kicks him out of the bar, since operating an aircraft under the influences of alcohol would at least constitute gross negligence and at worst, murder.

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How do you make someone think your wierd? Pretend to be a panda.

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Q: why do english soldiers have red coats? A: to cover the blood stains, so they can still lead their platoons when they are shot. why else?

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what do you call a boomerang that doesn't work? a stick

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I was at work today and whilst staring at my beautiful colleague I realised how hard it had got. So I quit

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A horse walks into a bar and asks the bartender "why the long face?" The bartender replies "this is the fourth time this week a horse walked into my bar and every time it happened i have to clean up a bunch of horse pooh!"

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Whats worse than getting raped by a monkey The fact that you actually got raped by a monkey

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Why did the chicken cross the road? So he could be slaughtered and eaten for dinner.

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Dog is walking through a park and is almost stepped on by a horse. Dog says, "Hey, watch where you're going!" Horse says, "Well, looky here! A talking dog!"

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What smells like old people and is white? Talcum Powder.

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what happens when you punt a baby in between 2 poles? you get 3 points

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Why did Chuck Norris's calendar go from March 31st to April 2nd? There was a misprint

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How many electricians does it take to change a lightbulb? One.

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What's the difference between jumping off of a 2 story building and a 20 story building? You're more likely to die from the latter.

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What did Jesus Christ say to John the Baptist? Nothing. He didn't exist.

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How many people does it take to drive a car? 1 person

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What do you call a person without a heart? Not alive.

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Whats better then having 10 fingers Having 11

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What do you call a cheese that's not yours? Cheese

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chuck norris can round house kick reasonably well

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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