Priest: "Matt, will you take Senae to be your wife, your partner in life and your one true love? Will you cherish her friendship and love her today, tomorrow and forever? Will you trust and honor her, laugh with her and cry with her? Will you be faithful through good times and bad, in sickness and in health as long as you both shall live?" Matt: No

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Q: Why was the man eating his foot? A: Because he was a part of the circus.

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A guy walks into a bar, A metal one, OUCH!

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A man penetrates another man.

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what kind of road kill is green and smells like cookies? girl scouts

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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Heheheheh, Good one, you made me laugh, you just made me realize that it was indeed I that said that to you once, and now you are telling me. I know now, I am happy, not because I seek happiness, but because thinking, finding solutions, guiding myself and others, is what makes me happy. I feel like an alien, because my ideals, my solutions hopes and dreams that grow out of a result of my constant thinking, will never be in this world. Yet I also feel human now, because it could have been, humanity could have succeeded...

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What's black and white and red all over? Two biracial gay guys boning a can of paint...

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How do you make Adolf Hitler angry? You can't, dead people are not sentient, and hence cannot feel anger.

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A horse enter a bar, and the barman says: "why the long face?" The horse has cancer

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A man bets that his friend can't drink five beers in a row. His friend does it and says "See, I told you I can do it!" The man replies "No, I can't see, I'm blind."

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Why did the faggot cross the road? Because he was a faggot.

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Why is it irrelevant whether someone is a twat or not? Love your neighbour.

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why did the man reverse time? because his girlfriend died,also this man was super

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How do you know if a black man was in your house while you weren't home? When you let them enter to babysit your children.

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Three construction workers, an Italian guy, a Mexican guy, and a American guy are sitting on top of a building eating lunch. The Italian is tired of eating meatballs, the Mexican is eating a burrito, and the American is eating a cheeseburger. They are all fed up with eating the same lunch every day. The next day they all jump off the building for unrelated reasons. It is a tragedy and their families mourn the loss.

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Why did the 80 year old man lose his vision? Because he recently blew his head off.

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A man walks into a bar. He buys a drink.

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I was going to post some witty jokes, but then I realized they weren't funny.

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Why did the chicken cross the road!? He was supposed to be dead! You are by far the most incompetent chicken assassin we've ever had. You're fired.

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gabbi nunez ;)

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Roses are stools, Violets are bums, sugar is knit, thank you, LSD.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Slowly being tortured to death.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Hitler.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops