What do you call a snail driving a boat? An accident waiting to happen.

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'How do you make a plumber cry? Buy him a belt for Christmas.

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Sometimes when I'm horny, I put vinegar on my diick

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-knock knock -i'm not at home, go away!

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once upon a time, a bird fell in love with a fish.. they both died.

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I am quite mature.

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Can we still mine for gold in the American River? No, anyone seen mining for gold is considered a hobo and all the gold is cleared out by random people in the 17 century

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I did your mom-A FAVOR-by making you-A SANDWICH-my favorite part was when she stripped-THE LETTUCE-then i touched her boob-OO-then we fucked

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what happend when the little boy went on the rollercoaster ? It crashed.

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Q: A blonde, a red-head, and a brunette all jump off the bridge at the same time. Who hits the ground first? A: As stated by Sir Isaac Newton's third law of gravitation, all three fall to their deaths at the exact same time because the velocity of a falling object is unaffected by the mass of that object... or their hair colour. Idiot.

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whats bloop with an m? matthew

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What do you call a child with a peg leg, and eye patch, and no hand? Names

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just a man and his thoughts....and a smart phone app, and a loving family, thats not the point.

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What do you call people in a plane crash? Whatever, i wasn't on the plane.

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Little Johnny asks his teacher "What's 23 times 3?" She yelled, "Be quiet, Johnny, and grow up!"

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Q. How can you find true love? A. Google it...duh

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Q: What do you call a psychic midget who has escaped from prison? A: A SMALL MEDIUM AT LARGE!

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what did the chicken cross the road? because its a chicken

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The man was so nice It's too bad he couldn't hear the bus coming.

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Why did the cow fall Cause a fat kid pushed him over

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*Knock Knock* Who's there? It's Jeff. Hi there Jeff, come in, the doors open.

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Why was the five-year old lying in the middle of the sidewalk? Because he was dead.

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Whats black and can multitask? My IPod you racist!

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Me: Wanna play a game of red light and as I get closer to you, you get to call red light?? girl: Yea! okay, go! girl: green light!! Me: Sorry, firetrucks don't stop for red lights

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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