Yo mama's so fat, that we are all extremely concerned for her health.

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How types of people are there? One, we are the only homo sapiens.

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Q: Why did the cow cross the road? A: Because it was stapled to the chicken.

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What's not funny? Today's anti-joke writers

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what did the apple say to the peer... I taste better !!

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That awkward moment when your brother goes to crack his neck, but he dies instead.

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Why could the grandma chew? She couldn't she had no teeth

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Alternate ending for children: Despite the massive trauma that the spider suffered from his fall and the sheer volume of rain in the confined space of a pipe, it made a miraculous recover due to the sun coming out. It was however, forever doomed to repeat this cycle of undeath for ever more. [L]

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Why did Princess Diana cross the road? Because she wasnt wearing a seat belt.

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What's grey and can't climb trees? A parking lot.

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Two girls are in a car together. The one in the drivers seat is texting while driving. The girl in the passenger seat notices this and tells her the she should put it away in case of a risk of a collision. She apologizes and puts it away and the two of them drive to the store unharmed and continued their normal day.

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What do you get when you add a cucumber some vinegar some salt and you get..... Macaroni and cheese

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PEANIS!

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What is orange and sticky? A blue ice cream with no skeletal structure Hang on, Ice Creams don't talk and the ice cream wasn't even yellow!

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Two guys walk into a bar, but the third guy is a duck.

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You know what's funnier than a pile of dead babies? A pile where one's alive in the middle, and has to eat his way out.

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your girlfriend is so dumb she is clinically retareded

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I drink poodle juice for breakfast lunch and dinner I was then turned into a tree

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Why is little johnny sad? He won the lottery but then found out the next day he had cancer and cried in a corner.

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What did the robet say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede. Its funny cuase the robot had no arms.

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Whats black, white and dusty? A nuns fan-y because it never gets used

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three retards, a Jew, 4 Mexicans, and an Eskimo go to the grocery store. Windex is on sale. The Jew bought artichokes.

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Llamaworm

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whats black and has 3 legs? a spider with 5 missing legs.duh.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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