What would Walt Disney be if he were still alive today? Still anti-semetic

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why did suzy fall off the swing? she has no arms, knock knock who's there? Not suzy!

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A redundant man walked into a bar. He sat down, and unfortunately, we learn 5 minutes later that his wife died.

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What do Kim Kardashian and a broken-down horse have in common? They will both eat oats out of your hand.

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Little Johnny is sleeping overnight at a school camping trip. The teacher goes around to check tents to make sure everybody is falling asleep fine. Little Johnny, however, says, "Miss, I am scared of the dark. Can I sleep in your tent instead?" The teacher reluctantly agrees, finishes checking around and brings Little Johnny to her tent. "Miss, can I play with your belly button with my finger? My mommy lets me", asks little Johnny. The teacher reluctantly agrees. Suddenly, the teacher jumps up. "THAT WASN'T MY BELLY BUTTON!", she shouts. "Yeah," says Little Johnny. "Well that wasn't my finger, either."

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After finishing reading this sentence, read it again and you might or might not realise that there is a secret subliminal message in this sentence making you do something later tonight. Can you spot it?

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What's under the first mate? The second mate.

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What is the difference between a black man and a potato? Well, there are a great many differences. But the main one is probably that a potato is a potato, and a black man is a black man.

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A man with ADD walks into a bar, what did he say? Look a squirrel!!!

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Why did Tiarnan not ride is bike to school today. Tiarnan's dead.

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How did Clumsy Clearance eat shit? He was in the Human Centipede.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? I'm a talking banana; what more do you want from me?

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what's worse than finding a worm in your apple. finding an apple in your pet worm.

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Why does Stuart go to Zu Bar? Because he deals cocaine to his fellow raving companions

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knock knock?? whos there?? Not yo cheese because i already ate it

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How did the deaf girl die? I beeped but she didnt hear me

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why did the Asian by a dog because he was lonely

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What has a beard and bombed the World Trade Center? Oama Bin Ladin. No, but seriously he's a terrorist.

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People Order Our Patties

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What's black and white and red all over? The dead kitten on the road.

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Why did Mr. Moseley choose to not buy crest toothpaste this month? Because your daughter got an abortion.

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Why did the computer load on facebook? Thats what you typed in.

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why did the boy fall off his bike? someone threw a fridge at him

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Whats long, green and falls out of trees? A canoe. Why did the old man fall out of the tree? He was in the canoe.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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