Roses are lamp, Violets are squirrel, I have ADHD, LET'S DANCE!

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the black man give his seat to a white man? Because the white man had a leg injury, and the black man was being a courteous good samaritan.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Whats 9 + 10? 19.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A dyslexic man walked into a bra.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? "Get in the car."

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do you get when you cross a pumpkin with a kangaroo? An irrelevant punchline.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

hating his life and his job, the man leaves work early and while he is in the elavator he has thoughts about killing himself after returning to his apartment he turns on the TV and grabs his gun out of the drawer. sitting in a chair with a gun to his head he looks at the TV and realizes that his office building has just been hit by a 747 piloted by Al-Quida members. Suddenly the man realizes that maybe he has something to live for and decides not to kill himself.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Little Johnny is sleeping overnight at a school camping trip. The teacher goes around to check tents to make sure everybody is falling asleep fine. Little Johnny, however, says, "Miss, I am scared of the dark. Can I sleep in your tent instead?" The teacher reluctantly agrees, finishes checking around and brings Little Johnny to her tent. "Miss, can I play with your belly button with my finger? My mommy lets me", asks little Johnny. The teacher reluctantly agrees. Suddenly, the teacher jumps up. "THAT WASN'T MY BELLY BUTTON!", she shouts. "Yeah," says Little Johnny. "Well that wasn't my finger, either."

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Do gingers have souls ? No, Gingers are a myth made up in the 13th centuary to scare little kids.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

why was 6 jealous of 7? 7 had a huge dick.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

haha

thumb_up thumb_down -21

When life gives you lemons, you should be wondering how "life" managed to give you those lemons.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Sorry, had it not been for my contacts, you would all have ended up in prison because of "The Wiz", I know you got a clean plate, but this guy was doing some seriously dirty laundry claiming to be working for "The Order", again it is best you all keep low, I will make sure my men evacuate this place as soon as we have rigged the game to your favor. As far as we can tell, he was the only one leaking Intel, but I suggest you keep an close eye on the rest of your boys and girls.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Knock Knock Who's There 42

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What's green, grows in my basement, and if fun to smoke? Mold. I lied about it being fun to smoke.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

How do you milk a cow? Pull on its' utters.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

why didn't the bully beat up the nerds? His mom got arrested for molestation and his dad got sent to Afganistan so he was too depressed to beat them up.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends how hard you throw them

thumb_up thumb_down -21

How many black people does it take to change a lightbulb? The same amount as white people, stop being racist.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

knock knock? who's there? a guy..... so the man open's the door and the guy clutching a knife stabs repeatedly at his chest killing him and drags his body down into his cellar locking him away from the open world. by Mad James

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why dont jews eat pork? Because the torah doesnt allow cannibalism

thumb_up thumb_down -21

I hate it when you can't tell whether a person is male or female.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Q: Why did your mom cross the street? A: Because she was so ugly that she fell off both sides of the bed

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Holy mother moley! Britain just brexited! Now there's no more Britain. Britain is all gone.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops