"your momma's so fat that she died in her sleep last night," said the doctor. "There was nothing we could do."

you're mommas so fat that her doctor says she is morbitly obese and may die of a heart failure later in life

Why did the Quantum chicken cross the road? It was already on both sides.

When life gives you lemons.... Don't eat them, because you're probable hallucinating, and you don't know where they came from.

Why did the Mexican stop mowing the family's lawn? Because he felt it was time for his son to learn some responsibility.

A man walks into a bar. Now he needs stitches on his forehead because he was walking pretty fast

A blonde went to a doctor for a checkup. The blonde couldn't hear the doctor 'cuz she had headphones on so the doctor took them off. A couple of minutes later she died. The doctor was curious so he put the headphones on. It was saying, "Breathe in, breathe out. Breathe in, breathe out..."

what did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? cancer

Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm only 13 so if you have sex with me it's illegal.

Stop me if you heard this one before.

What looks like a flower, smells like a flower, and feels like a flower, but isn't a flower? Just kidding it's a flower

Knock Knock Who's there? Chinese. What? Knock Knock.

Why did greg come to America? Because he wanted visit the states

Why did the black man cross the road? Because he was greeting his new neighbors that moved in across the street. He was very friendly.

A nuclear device is dropped on hiroshima. Does it make a sound? The answer is yes because the americans are laughing in Enola Gay

- What do you call a black man who drives a bus? - An african american bus driver.

So a horse walks into a bar... I forget the rest of the joke but you're mom is a whore..

Doctor doctor, I feel like listening to good music. Looks like you need "The Cure" to help with this.

Why is little johnny sad? He won the lottery but then found out the next day he had cancer and cried in a corner.

What do you call 55,000 clowns exiting a small car? Fiction.

Q : What is the similarity between me and my friend? A : We both are crazy

A man with Alztheimers walks into a bar. He forgets the purpose of being there.

What's grey and can't climb trees? A parking lot.

What did the blue man say to the red lady? Do you want to make purple? -A.M.M

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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