roses are red violets are blue get down your trousers cause im waiting for you

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Why did I kill the Muslim because I'm smart

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what did the white car look like... a black car but the color is different

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Whats worse than throwing a baby off a cliff? Catching it with a pitchfork

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How else can an Asian wear a contact lens? Too bad for them. They can;t sucks for them. Asians with small eyes EXCEPT FOR INDIANS look ugly

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Why did the girl fall of the swing? I hit her with an axe.

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why did the bus hit the kid? he dropped his ice cream.

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Andrew's a bald wankstain.

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Why did the girl go fishing? Because she was the bait

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On Tuesday mornings at 7:32 a.m., what is the square root of 31? I don't know, because it would be an irrational number of which is not possible to calculate without the aid of a calculator. However, the date and time would not affect the answer.

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What did Hitler say to his wife? It's time to go start the Holocaust.

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What has 9 arms and sucks? Def lepeord

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Why did Oliver fall? He shot himself.

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fish fishy caoimhin

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A priest was driving a motorcycle and was doing these amazing crazy stunts. It turns out they were actually filming a movie.

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Why DIDN'T the chicken cross the road? Because 7, 8, 9

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What's the difference between a white baby and a black baby? 10 minutes in the microwave.

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My trip to Italia: Italian most: WELCOME TO ITAAAAAAALIA! YOU WANT THE PIZZA YES? Me asking my then Italian girlfriend: Are all Italians so loud? Then girlfriend: Yeah kinda... Her brother overhearing us: WHO! GAVE! YOU THE BALLS! TO JUDGE US! Me: Uh I am just surprised at... Her bro: I SAID WHO GAVE YOU THE BALLS... DONT LOOK AT ME! Me: *looking down at the ground somewhat ashamed* bro: LOOK AT ME WHEN I SPEAK TO YOU! NO! DONT LOOK AT ME! I will let you go for this time yes? Next time I will take you outside and beat you up okay? LOOK AT ME WHEN I SPEAK TO YOU! AND DO NOT LOOK AT ME! Conclusion: Wow you Italians are bad ass... I mean hell this is was a real life experience of mine, I was just a teen back then but I got a headache and threw up ending up in bed later... Fact: I am nearly two meters but walk with a hunch, the guy was half my size but still broke me down, wow Italians are bad ass...

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A man walks into a bar, and immediately sees a person with a big orange head seated near the back. He asked the bartender "why does that man have a big orange head?" "Buy him a drink and maybe he'll tell you." So the man bought him a drink and asked the guy with the big orange head why he has a big orange head, and he told him this story: "I was traveling in the sahara desert 10 years ago when I found a pure gold lamp in the sand. I rubbed the sand off so I could read what was on the side when a genie popped out and gave me 3 wishes. First I wished for many riches, and at once gold was all around my feet. Exited, I wished for the most beautiful wife in the world, and right in front of me appeared the most beautiful woman I had ever seen. Third, I wished for a big orange head.

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your mommas so fat because she has diabetes

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Yo mama is so nasty she won't take a shower till she is dead you idiot says the boy she won't die she has twenty thousand live

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A blind man walks past a fish market, pauses, takes in a big sniff, and says, "Good morning ladies!" to the women walking by wearing too much perfume.

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why did the blind man crash his car? he had down syndrome.

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A man scratches his ankle and says " my nuts are itchy" a woman looks at him questionly. realizing he had been watched, he lifted the bottom of his pant leg and showed to woman that he had stuffed his socks with pecans.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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