A man scratches his ankle and says " my nuts are itchy" a woman looks at him questionly. realizing he had been watched, he lifted the bottom of his pant leg and showed to woman that he had stuffed his socks with pecans.

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You know what really grinds my gears? Insufficient lubricant.

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Q: Did you hear the joke about the deaf kid? A: Neither did he.

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What did the black man say to the other black man? Nothing, he was recently involved in a terrible car accident which he barely survived but lost the function of speech and was paralysed from the neck downwards. He is constantly in pain and desperately wants someone to kill him but has no way of communicating this so is forced to wait until his natural death.

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I'm so hungry I could eat a well prepared meal!

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-Ask me if I'm a tree. +Are you a tree? -Yes. -Ask me if I'm an orange. +Are you an orange? -No, I'm a tree, were you listening me?

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If John has 50 candybars and eats 45 of them how many does he have left? Diabetes.

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What's big, black, juicy, large, and succulent? A gourmet meatball.

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In Soviet Russia You drive car, because a car driving you would be screwed up

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Your mamma's such a whore, she sleeps with men who pay her.

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*DRRRRIN* Finally someone uses the doorbell.

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roses are red violets are blue they are pretty and you are not

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was heading to the funeral house to mourn his dead family.

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What do babies suck on? juice boxes!

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue Violets are not blue They are Violet

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If your waiting in a restaurant for a waiter, doesn't that make you a waiter? O.o

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wounds are red bruises are blue I've got five fingers the middle ones for you

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Q: What genre is the bible? A: Si-fi

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How did the dyslexic, purple horse commit suicide? It jumped off the Grand Canyon.

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What did the man do when it was raining pineapples? He got a chainsaw and went on a killing spree against his neighbors family.

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What did the hobo get for christmas? Nothing.

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A skeleton walks into a bar. He orders a beer and a mop.

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What's that on my back? Tell me it's your phone ! Its my phone.

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Why did the boy tell the fly to eat the cheese? A: because he wanted him to

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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